Originally published 2008 on my former website.
I believe any changes you are seeking to make in your life begin in your mind. That old saying, “I’ve made up my mind” has been around for a long time for a reason. Also, ever notice how many times a day you say, “I think…” in a conversation?
We are thinking every moment of our lives. Everything we feel and do starts first with our thoughts. So, I challenge you, to try to be aware of the thoughts you are thinking and see how many are limiting ones, or thoughts, that if you just “let go of” might make you feel better.
It works like this: a thought comes, then the feeling associated, then an action. Contemplate this.
This post is focused on something called Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT).
In April of 2008, I met with Janice Cunningham at HealthQuest in Titusville, Florida to see if we could stop me from a lifelong habit/addiction of picking (and/or chewing) my fingers. I previously had been a “nail biter” but an ex-husband broke me of the habit by smacking my hand anytime he caught me with it near my mouth. Yes, negative reinforcement works – to a point – but it wasn’t such a pleasant way! Meeting with Janice was the BEST $125 I EVER spent (up until that point) because aside from my body being cured of the addiction, my body also experienced other profound affects from just one EFT session!
I highly recommend Janice to everyone who is ready to work through their own “issues”.
You may be wondering what I mean when I say that I had been “picking my fingers”. So, it seemed that I only traded my bad habit of nail biting for something less noticeable. I was pulling at my cuticles, hang nails or any other rough areas of skin around my finger nails.
In 2007, I bought a book called, “Tapping the Healer Within” because my acupuncture doctor, Joan Massey (also from HealthQuest) had told me about it, and because I had tried everything else. I found that book to be a bit convoluted and besides, it mostly dealt with phobias and anxieties – neither of which I thought I had. More importantly, while reading the book, I found it too difficult to hold the book and try to tap on my body with my other hand. Or, maybe that was just my excuse – but the book, though interesting to me, wasn’t enough to help.
A few weeks prior to my personal EFT visit, my husband and I watched a show on the TLC television channel called, “I Can Make You Thin.” On the show, the host using EFT to help people overcome their food cravings. Because I had also tried everything to lose weight, I decided that I really needed some one-on-one personal guidance with both my weight issues and the finger picking habit. And much to my delight, after a 2.5 hour session with Janice, where I fully described both of my issues, I found resolution to some deep seated disturbing mental “programming.”
I had the best night’s sleep ever after that session! I guess I had not even realized that my sleep pattern had also been an issue.
So, aside from experiencing relief from finger picking that day, the habit does not reoccur unless I am stressed. I began a routine of exercising, eating less and so forth, so, the session also helped me let go of excess weight. I believe letting go of those issues aided my body in losing the weight.
During my EFT session with Janice, we spent nearly two hours going back into my past, into my former marriage, teenage years and finally, childhood years. I realized that I had picked up my habit of finger nail biting at the same time I had been diagnosed with the asthma – when I was six years of age. My mom has always been a terrible nail biter, biting her nails down into the quick (pink part), so I knew I’d picked up the habit from my mom, but I had not realized just how much of a connection there was between that habit, my asthma, and my mom.
I fully became aware, during my EFT session, that when my mom’s father died, my maternal grandfather, that this deeply affected her — and ME.
The important thing about that experience is to know now, that when I was a child, how much that event upset my mom and how fully connected I was to my mom and her EMOTIONS. It was natural for my mom to be upset about losing her father. But, I had taken her upset on as MINE. I vividly recall believing if she could lose him, I could lose her. And that I couldn’t live – couldn’t breathe in fact – without my mom.
I remembered (during my EFT session), that as a child, when I would say my nightly prayers, that I would plead with God not to take my mom away from me. This may not make sense to many people, but I am an only child, the only child who lived of the six pregnancies my mom had. My mom (and dad) have always told me how much they love me (not a bad thing in and of itself) and how precious I am, a miracle, gift, etc. But, because of this, I became a super responsible adult. I had held on to some deeply rooted beliefs about having to “live up to any and all expectations” and so forth.
My EFT session sort of felt like it had been a combination of counseling and hypnosis (though I was awake and totally aware of what was happening). It seemed as though Janice had been talking to me on a deep soul level.
During the session, Janice recommended I take some notes, both of things that I was becoming aware of, as well as how to be able to run through this process again on my own if need be.
I noted that I had always tried to “save my mom”.
I am not my thoughts.
My perception influenced my thoughts, but my perceptions were not always “true.”
The genie is out of the bottle.
I do not need the old thoughts.
Am I the thought or the awareness?
Am I “this” thought, or am I the awareness of “this” thought?
Who sent “this” thought? (My pain-body)
Examine “this” thought. It will probably be a limiting thought, a no-win thought, and one that would eventually bring pain.
To let go of “this” thought: 1) focus on the feeling of my breath in and out, 2) be the observing presence.
When I observe I suspend space.
Inspiration = In spirit, and inspiration fills me, lights me up from the inside – the same as when someone is in creative mode; you feel the creative energy inside, in your heart or chest, not in the head area.
The Aha moment when the head agrees to the inner knowing.
My nails = my own fear and anxiety to my feeling, as though I could never fix/help/save my mom.
A trigger for me is when I am faced with something I can’t do anything about, when I feel a sense of powerlessness.
But I’m a super responsible person – I’m supposed to DO something vs. just BE.
(This is the conflict that causes the habitual negative behavior).
Once we got to the root cause of my habit, it effortlessly left me.
EFT helped me to realize that even if I could pluck my mom out of her seemingly dysfunctional situation, that the change would not bring her happiness and that after all, it’s her life. It is what it is. I cannot “fix” the world. I am not here to “save” anyone else.
That “saving” realization freed me. Now, I still have other issues to work through, but wow, I really have that peace that passes all understanding after one EFT session! I have just been able to deal with things and just BE.
I can’t say enough about EFT. If you think you’ve tried everything to find relief from anxiety, depression, weight issues, nerve problems, etc. I implore you to try EFT. You do not need to “believe in it” for it to work for you. And what do you have to lose?
Here is a link to explain what EFT is all about: http://www.emofree.com/
You probably already know that most physical ailments begin in the mind. I’ve met many doctors over the years who have told me this too, but it is best explained: “It is an established fact that psychosomatic disorders (PSD) are in fact responsible for a great share of OTC medications, mainly for anxiety and depression. Psychotherapy deals in harmonizing the agonized mind, while Aromatherapy acts as a support system for the mind as well as the dis-eased physical body/ physiology.” per a quote from Dr. Ravi Ratan.
UPDATE: Join me for a lesson in how to perform Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) at the Awakening Wellness Center, Feb. 4th, 2017 from Noon – 1pm.
6161 Dr Martin Luther King St N, Suite 102 St Petersburg, FL
And come out to the Awakening Into The Sun Zen festival in beautiful downtown St. Petersburg, Florida during the weekend of March 4th and 5th at South Straub Park. I’ll be on stage between musical performances sharing about EFT.
Take it upon yourself to be healthy, joyful, vibrant, and beautiful. Be who you want to be.
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Information provided is for educational purposes only and is not intended to treat, diagnose or prescribe.