When we are born as babies we only really know how to FEEL. We cry when we don’t feel good.
So, it may seem like an odd question to ask, but as we grow older it seems that we come upon this “need to be right” and that it’s actually more important for us to “be right” about anything, any topic, than it is to FEEL good. But, why?
Returning to the observation of a baby. An infant does not know right from wrong. In any sense of that. A newborn can’t talk, or do much of anything except cry when he or she doesn’t feel good. It will cry when it’s wet or dirty in the diaper. It will cry when it’s hungry. It will cry if it has pain in it’s tiny body. It can sleep, once it gets tired enough, in any situation–not even a lot of noise or a wrong bodily position can keep it from sleeping. Any parent can witness that.
So, why is it that as children, most definitely as teenagers and nearly all the time as adults, we will argue and fight to the nth degree when we believe we’re right about something. We’ll fuss with our parents–and go out of our way to challenge them. Argue with our friends–even the ones we like most. Contradict our beloveds. Fight with nearly anyone whose truth differs from our own.
I believe it’s because at some point, perhaps little by little, without much conscious awareness–we’re taught that it’s better to be right, than to feel good.
And therein lies one our basic human dilemmas. And I believe one of the biggest tangles that we need to unravel (overcome), if we want to be healthy and live a peaceful life.
Someone I met (just this week–April 11, 2017) mentioned to me that there’s an “aspect of ourselves” that feels bad/guilty, in his opinion after one is “born again” as a Christian, after they do something wrong.
Following that conversation, just a few days later, I met another lady (from India) who believes this aspect of internal knowing is in ALL of us. Going so far to say that her mother had told her and her siblings when they were small, that when they did something wrong they didn’t need to come and confess to her, because she said they would have to deal with their wrongdoing INSIDE of themselves! Yes, that they would certainly feel bad, maybe not immediately, but soon–all within themselves, no punishment from her or their father required!
About this same time, I began learning from Lama Nicholas Packard that we come sort of pre-packaged with virtue. We are all inherently GOOD! Aha! Our virtue may have been squashed in various ways while we were young, but we know deep within ourselves what is right.
I believe the Divine Spark lives inside each of us. We know “the right thing to do”, or the “right way to treat others”, though obviously, some people choose to fight, or hide from that knowing. Ah, the hiding in the Garden of Eden! Maybe, just perhaps, that was the hiding that we were being told about–not an actual bodily nakedness, but a spirit / soul hiding!
What do you think?
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