There once was a friend (me) who let down another friend. At the time, I doubt that I had much of an idea how much I had upset the apple cart of the friendship, but thankfully, a few weeks ago, it was brought to my attention, and I was given a beautiful opportunity to genuinely apologize and heal a past hurt. And I hope, and believe it was, a beautiful healing experience for us both.
Now, for the story…
A few months ago, I saw a picture on Facebook of a wall hanging quilt that a distanced, long-time friend of mine had created. The colors and energetic patterns within each hand-sewn square really pulled me in. And though we had not talked in years, except for a few minutes at her niece’s Celebration of Life memorial service (over a year ago), well, this quilt resonated so much with me that I jumped to ask her about it! And perhaps boldly of me, I asked if she might craft a King size quilt like it for me!
I loved it! The colors, pattern, and workmanship was outstanding! To my joy, she agreed to make a King size quilt for my husband and I, but not like the one I had seen, because of the size. The quilt I had commented on was much smaller (only a wall hanging).
However, that was a good thing because it meant we would get to chat a number of times about colors, design, and so forth. I took some measurements of our bed, and asked my husband too, about colors, design, and so forth.
We did all of our chats via Facebook. This might not sound like an important aspect of the story, but trust me, it is.
I wanted a King size version of mostly brown, blue, and green–in a Native American kind of design. It didn’t have to be traditional. In fact, I would have been happy with anything–as long as Pattie made it.
I told Pattie that I’d cherish the quilt for years to come. What she didn’t know was that in the last ten years or so, I’ve learned that mostly only the things people have given to me, or that were personally made for me, hold any kind of special emotional attachment. Other things are nice, pretty, useful, etc. but if they all went away, the only ones I’d miss, are the few that were given to me by family that didn’t give often, or were from my home state or town, or were handmade. And living in an RV for the last seven years, I’ve had to be quite discerning over size, weight, and quantity of items I chose to keep and hold dear.
All the while Pattie and I chatted about the quilt on Facebook, I didn’t know that our friendship was kind of mending too! There was healing occurring. And that’s always a good thing.
Also, at the time I commissioned this work, I had not considered how I’d get it, whether she would ship it, or I’d pick it up, etc. I certainly hadn’t given any thought to having the opportunity to meet in person, with some time to visit and enjoy a beautiful lunch!
So, when Pattie was done with the quilt, I asked her if we could meet halfway, instead of her shipping it. That way, she could get to know my husband too, and we could have a nice lunch, somewhere midway from where we live (since we live about three hours from each other). She agreed. We talked about where we would meet. Finalizing on our plans, we set a date and time.
When the day arrived, we texted to make sure we were each on our way. I was super excited to be able to hang out with Pattie, catch up, and of course, receive our quilt.
We met at an eastern European bistro restaurant that we love. We shared some different and unique foods, and had plenty of time to relieve some of our past, share how my husband and I met, and so forth. And then came the question I had not expected.
I had not remembered or probably fully ever realized or known why we had quit talking. Thankfully, Pattie refreshed my memory, so that I had the opportunity to apologize. We held hands and tears flowed. Cleansing. Forgiveness. Allowing. I am so glad we had this time. Not just to relieve past hurts, but to understand. To process the pain that had been caused, and to allow the hurt to shift (even if only a little bit), so that over the coming days and weeks, we could “let it go.”
I know that for many of us, taking the time to be heard, to ask what’s wrong, or tell another what’s wrong, ask for forgiveness, or forgive, can be the hardest thing to do. But God, it’s so worth it!
And chatting via Facebook or text doesn’t communicate all of our emotions, plus, as we all know it doesn’t allow us to exchange vibrational energy.
I’m not perfect. I’ve made my share of mistakes in my life and I own each one, taking full responsibility.
But yesterday is gone. And today is all we have. I’m not just saying this in a philosophical way, but in a real time, honest-to-goodness, way. The person I am today is different than I used to be. I feel more deeply. I love more generously. And when I need to, I discern and draw better boundaries. But mostly, I am more open to receive.
So, this Christmas, I wanted to take this moment to tell those who have been in my life how very special they are to me. You are loved. You are cherished. You make up the tapestry of my life, because you’ve been in so many of my experiences. We may live far apart. Or we may not talk often. But you make me who I am.
You are worthy. You are loved.
Our unique experiences are each a thread within a tapestry, or quilt, of one’s life. And We Are All Connected.
Note the sock monkey on the bed! He was handmade for me when I was born by a dear family friend–and he has went everywhere with me, every move, of which there have been many.
A few folks who have seen this quilt have commented of Pattie’s exquisite precision sewing and design work. So much so, that one gentlemen has already put in an order for a similar quilt.
I should also add that this quilt is oh so very comfortable to sleep under! It’s not too thick like a comforter, so in Florida we can use it all year.
I only quilt with words. My husband quilts with music. But my friend Pattie quilts with fabric & thread and turns memories and forgiveness into tangible ‘heart-work’ that can (and in our case, will) last for generations.
May you be blessed for 2017 and always, in All ways.
–If you would like Pattie to make a quilt for you, comment below and include a way for her to reach you. Or email me.