Got Problems? Opposites Attract

Why does it seem that opposites attract? Takers take too much from givers. Givers give too much and become drained, or sick. Energy vampires SUCK!

Dear one, oh sweet empath — they are drawn to you for your light.
For the healing energy of the light.
Just allow them to come.
Allow them to heal.
They will only take the frequencies they need.
They cannot take too much.
They cannot take your higher vibrations because they are not ready for them – they are not a match – no parity.
Keep refilling yourself from the light.
You will be gifted with higher frequencies as you see not what is seemingly being taken from you.
As they cannot take from you, that which you do not have. And you have a never ending, unceasing Limitless supply!
Why does it seem that opposites attract? Doesn’t like attract like?
The Universe conspires to order. To balance the energies.
Perhaps it is the strength of the energies that matter?
Example of alignment opposites attract.png
WARNING — You may not want to hear this! — WARNING
In everyday scenarios we explain it thusly —
The narcissist is drawn to the empath’s light. Like a moth to the flame.
Allow them to receive the light from you that no other will give to them.
THEY actually know the truth. The truth about dualism and illusion that you fail to see. It’s all about them!
But you are hurt because you do not know that it’s also all about you!
So, you stay in your hurt place, stagnant and seemingly disconnected.
That is YOUR choice.
But separation is illusion. Even if you can’t realize it yet, We Are All Connected.
Yin and Yang.
We are here to achieve balance.
This is why you, my dear and loving hearts, always attract the assholes, liars, thieves, energy vampires, wacky, crazy, bitchy, mean-spirited, which all boil down to the fact that these people are HURTING / suffering. And here they are at your door, looking to you to heal them, help them, make them whole.
Yet, you choose to turn away.
You can.
It’s okay.
But you’ll continue to get more of the same, until you clean up your vibrations.
Oh! Dear ones, you are missing a very big point.
You attract your like kind too, so that you can recharge. But is it not better to come directly to the Limitless, Ever-Living, Filling-All-Space, Creator, Source Energy — the ONE?
Hurt people aren’t of the frequency match to come to Creator.
You are their “step-up”! Perhaps you’ve heard of Jacob’s ladder?
Step up.
Step up.
Know that all of your hurt is needless. It only separates.
Know that all of your frustration is pointless. It only leads to ill health, pain, suffering.
And pain begets pain.
All you need focus on is what unifies.
All you need focus on is what uplifts.
All you need focus on is what builds.
All you need focus on is LOVE. Unconditional LOVE.
We told you this in the Be-attitudes and other ancient books.
Be still and know.
Love for ALL.
Limitless LOVE.
Love can never die. Love has always has been. And always will be.
You can transmute all disparate energies with LOVE.
Be still and know.
Omnipresence.
Omnipotence.
Omniscient.
Omni-everything.
Yes! OM I-everything.
OM
Look at how many of your common words contain the OM to bring you back hOMe: wOMan, mOM, abdOMen, accOModate, accOMplish, anatOMy, bloOM, cOMpany, cOMpass, and so on.

Example of alignment opposites attract.png

An Independent Soul on a Mission to Connect Heaven and Earth

More and more each day, I am finding the truths embedded in the ancient Chinese wisdom that Lama Nicholas Packard shared with me recently. And that our health is directly attributed to our thoughts, beliefs, and actions.

If I want to be well and healthy, I must strike a balance between my true nature (which I can feel in my body each day when I am confronted or need to make a choice about something). Yes, I can justify and rationalize, or choose to push through obstacles, but in the end, it’s how I FEEL that must be my guide. Else, I will suffer. And I do not want to suffer.

At times, I’ve been startled and taken aback by my own reactivity to people’s actions (even those whom I admire / have admired) but also to whom, I FELT a negative reaction–so much so, that I had to break away. This has happened to me before, perhaps my whole life–but I didn’t fully understand until recently.

I am such an independent person–who else would write a blog called, Take It Upon Yourself–that it’s very few people I can actually work closely with ongoing. I yearn to feel the resonance of balance.

I am an independent soul on a mission to connect Heaven and Earth by building mutually joyful and healthy relationships. Said another way, I am here as a woman of independent nature, on a mission to connect and heal people. To do this, will require balance. If I can feel negative vibrations, then easily bring them into balance–okay. But if not, depending upon the strength of the negative vibrations, I will make a different choice.

Assume for a moment that we’re birds of a feather. Both of us are interested in the same people, and read the same books, but if you believe in the concept that we “can never get it wrong”, and “there is value in everything”, yet condescend or be critical of a small action (especially for something that goes against core beliefs of mine, such as of Transparency and Sharing), that is going to resonate with me as a distinct, NO. And I will move on, leave the group, partnership, or whatnot.

Note the following example. I work on a team with someone whom I agree and align with their knowledge and experience of nutrition, vitamins, supplements and so on. Though I have learned, and would love to learn more from this person, and I respect him/her, the person can’t seem to be responsible, show up to work, put in honest effort to the project, or contribute to the team.

If I had my druthers and the autonomy to move the person to another team, I would–but I don’t. Unfortunately, if I have to work with this person, the ill feelings (that I allow the disharmony to bring), will make me sick. And I cannot give to others if I am sick. So, though it’s been three years, trust me, the end is near. I am a patient person, but enough is enough. It’s happened before with me, and it will happen again–until I connect with and to someone, or some team, where I can find balance.

This is why people leave businesses, relationships, partnerships, and so on. We all must do what feels right, or suffer. I choose what feels right to me, what feels harmonious and loving. Because if I don’t, I’m fighting my true nature. And when you work with split energies like that, it will tear you apart.

In another example, let’s take the partnership that I accept based on my ego of being needed an honored, one might think that would be a good thing, right? Well, it could easily end from my ego being offended.

Everyone has an ego, whether large or small. One with a large ego would be best served to learn how to communicate with their staff. If you’re a manager and can’t communicate properly, you should not be a manager. Period. A primary facet of Management IS communication.

Experientially learning all of this, I now realize that I will never be balanced, or feel successful in my mission to connect people, until I can find a team to work with who will allow me to bring out the best in them, for the good of the cause, and shine my eternal soul light.

Now, just what brought about all of this newfound enlightenment?

Meet Lama Nicholas Packard…
A few weeks ago, I had the profound JOY of receiving a one-on-one healing session with Lama Nicholas Packard–who has recently come to visit our conscious St Petersburg, Florida community after living in India and China for over 30 years!
I made the appointment with Lama Nicholas for holistic health career guidance, as well as some intermittent pain in the body.
I have been meditating daily since Oct. 2015, and observing my thoughts. I’ve been feeling that my current work is not in alignment with my soul’s purpose. One could also say that I’ve become disillusioned and apathetic.
I can no longer work for certain companies, and I’ve recently began expressing this fact to recruiters when they call me. I do not mince words. I do not align with companies who make, or even indirectly support companies who make products that injure people.
This stance puts me out of working for any company that creates man-made chemical products. If you are part of a company whose products harm people, do not call me. I have to draw the line in the sand.
I learned from Lama Nicholas that he believes Artificiality is killing us. And I agree. Obviously, there are natural things that can harm us also, but for us to go out of our way to develop things that harm–that’s insane.
Right from the beginning of our session, as we began talking, a little finch bird came near to me, hiding under the table next to me. Was it there to let me know it was safe to express what makes my heart sing?
Lama Nicholas first showed me my birth and life path based on a Chinese numerology system. My birthdate equals a 1, which makes me an independent type. And oh my, can I affirm this is true! Looking back over my life, I can see that as a sure pattern in me, as well as the fact that I write this blog. I don’t always need to be right, but I need to be heard!
I learned that my life path is a number 2. That means I seek Connection. And that building relationships, even so far as connecting Heaven to Earth, is my mission and purpose! Is it any wonder that I was given the message, “We Are All Connected” many years ago?
And yes, sometimes to build, one must know when to disconnect. Pruning a bush allows for more growth. So again, I am to seek balance in this quest as I move forward.
A beautifully tall, white egret walked up to us; it actually seemed to look me in the eye for a moment! The egret brought me comfort in this new experience and reminded me that I was still grounded to nature–though we were in the city, we were only a couple of blocks from the Gulf of Mexico. I also took this to mean that my meeting with Lama Nicholas would open me to even deeper knowledge of myself.
Do you sense the dichotomy though? A strong willed independent woman, who must connect with others to build relationships and usher Heaven to Earth? Wow!!!! I will need help!
The funny thing is, I’ve never been good at asking for help!
Only since my daughter gave birth to my granddaughter, have I learned along with her–to verbally ask for “a little help, please“–as it’s just not something that seems natural to me to do!
As for the Chinese animal that my birth year aligns to, I am on the cusp of the pig, and the tiger. The negative side of the pig means that I would feel a lot of fear (which I don’t), and the tiger signifies frustration. Bingo! I am very frustrated currently. Unfortunately, 30, 40, or 50 years of frustration can lead to Cancer!
Yet, the positive side of the tiger is that I am unstoppable! Yay!
Lama Nicholas told me that I am a healer. In addition:
  • I am called to a BIG mission
  • I can use the tigers’ determination + my independent spirit to bridge communities (spiritual communities perhaps?)
  • I will joyously work to connect Heaven to Earth
  • To facilitate teamwork by cooperation and balance, not to “win” as an entrepreneur
As to why I feel so much frustration at work: I need structure and am committed to working in a dynamic team–and one person on our team is arrogantly independent and adamantly refuses to work on our team, or even show up to work during core hours!
I now realize that I seek to assist others in their own healing journey as my life’s mission. And that using my hands to write, and heal others, will be key to my purpose.
After Lama Nicholas and I finished our conversation about life mission and purpose, we moved to two chairs facing each other for the physical healing part of the session to occur. I will add here though, that I really think the healing work began in and through me days before our actual meeting.
Since I had complained of an errant pain on the left side of my body, Lama Nicholas picked up and held my left leg and foot and pressed (not pinched or squeezed) but pressed with his fingers on the side of the fourth toe. I writhed in my chair with every muscle in my body tensing! It was very painful for a few seconds, but it eased quickly. I felt lightheaded and began to breathe deeply. Lama Nicholas gave me a cup of water and talked about what had happened so my mind could grasp it.
The toes are end points of meridians. And the fourth toe is the end point of the gallbladder meridian. Now, I didn’t know that I was having any gallbladder issues, but Lama did!! Note: my grandfather died of gallbladder cancer.
Next, we moved to the little toe! It hurt too, but not as bad, though my face was wincing and I was still tensing as if struggling to get away. The little toe is the end of the kidney meridian. I feel that I don’t have to explain to you what the meridians are. If you don’t know, you can Google that.
Looking back on the experience, I was surprised that I didn’t cry, cuss, scream, or such. Just tensed up and had a strong desire to pull away. To me, this also seems indicative of how I’ve reacted to other painful events in my past. A sort of quiet inward suffering, though usually with tears. I have never been a fighter or aggressive type.
One of the biggest things Lama Nicholas taught me how to do was how to bring in and cultivate Qi in the body.
Lama showed me the proper way to hold my hands together over my belly button (Dantian) while breathing deeply through the nose–holding my inhale to a count of 3 or 5 with my belly pushing outward and into my hands. Then, exhaling and pulling my belly button in towards my spine as far as I could manage and holding the exhalation to a count of 3 or 5.
Lama told me to visualize the in breath, as if it were coming into my belly, and the exhale coming out of my hands! Eventually, I made a big circle with my hands to push the Qi down on the exhale. Just this lesson alone was amazing!
Lama worked on my left arm and showed me how working the lung meridian made my tears flow–I had no idea why I began crying as he pressed points on my arm on one side, then conversely I laughed as he pressed the heart meridian points on the other side of the arm!
Feeling fantastic after the experience is an understatement. I kept saying, “Wow, Wow, Wow” after we completed the session. Amazing!
Though I am primarily an analytical thinker, you might like to know how I feel about this healing experience from my heart (or emotional intelligence).
Intuitively, I fully resonated with the information that came from Lama Nicholas and the numerology of why I was born into this lifetime, and why–up to this point–life has seemed to be a struggle.
Energetically, I felt motivated and driven to succeed in the living of my unique purpose to build new relationships, and strengthen the relationships with those already in my life. To move from the sidelines and out onto the playing field of life, to use a sports analogy.
New insights have come, such as the knowing that writing does fulfill my purpose, but so does art, working with clay, applying essential oils to people’s hands and feet, and so forth.
My mother always called me her “miracle baby” because I was the only one that lived out of six pregnancies. I believe her now because through me, all of my mom’s six babies are on the planet. Had any of my choices, or those of my daughter been any different that might not have been so. Gratefully, all things work in harmony and order in this Universe. I see that now.
This healing experience affected me mentally, by charging me up and giving me a zest for life, spiritually, by connecting me to the Divine and knowing Qi connects us all, and physically, by moving stagnant energies in my body and propelling me to learn more about Qigong, perhaps even one day teach, Qigong/Tai Chi!
I now know my purpose is to connect people and bring or connect heaven to earth. I chose a big mission, before my birth, for this lifetime and with tiger’s determination, I know I can do it.
I know that I was not born to be an entrepreneur, because of my #2 life path, which means I seek balance. I need a partner who is a #2. I know how to make money, be an excellent partner, and develop enthusiastic teams, so I am ready!
My morning and nighttime routines now include Qigong. I have been doing the deep breathing before sleep each night, just as Lama suggested. I am experiencing a dramatic shift in my thinking each day and noticing that habits are changing.
Intuitively, I took a picture of myself before the healing session, and I just took one this morning. I look much happier!
 Sheila Before and After One-on-One Healing.jpg
I know my life has dramatically been altered by meeting Lama Nicholas. I feel more energy, look and feel happier, and I am emphatically motivated to move into my life’s purpose without fear or hesitancy. And as before, I will be as water, always seeking balance–but now I understand why.
Another output from my healing session with Lama Nicholas was that I signed up to become certified at reflexology, something that a friend had suggested I try (years ago), but only now makes perfect sense to do!
Stay tuned for my next article about Qigong. You see, after taking my first two Qigong/Tai Chi classes with Grand Master Lama Nicholas, I signed up for more and believe that Qigong will become a daily practice for the rest of my life.
Blessings to you in ALL ways,
OM

*Consult with one of your licensed health professionals / wellness practitioner team before making any changes in your prescribed medications.

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Do you need a Fraidy Cat Coach?

As kids, I recall the term “fraidy cat” being used on more than one occasion at the playground. Of course, I never thought of myself as a fraidy cat, however I’m sure I was in certain situations.

Now that I teach Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) to others, I realize that this fraidy cat lives inside most of us! And wouldn’t it be nice if you had someone by your side, to hold your hand, when you feel most scared?

That’s what I’m offering to you, NOW.

PM me on Facebook, or email me: sheila.murrey@gmail.com

Let’s see what fears, anxieties, or phobias we can calm, reduce, release, and clear away for you by working together!

If you’re reading this right now, chances are there’s something you are afraid of committing to, saying, or doing that I could help you overcome.

I have years of trial-by-fire experience walking people by the hand through some of life’s scariest and riskiest situations… let me help you gracefully glide through whatever difficult thing you’re facing —

You have a friend.

Your fraidy cat coach,

sheila

Who taught us to be right?

When we are born as babies we only really know how to FEEL. We cry when we don’t feel good.

So, it may seem like an odd question to ask, but as we grow older it seems that we come upon this “need to be right” and that it’s actually more important for us to “be right” about anything, any topic, than it is to FEEL good. But, why?

Returning to the observation of a baby. An infant does not know right from wrong. In any sense of that. A newborn can’t talk, or do much of anything except cry when he or she doesn’t feel good. It will cry when it’s wet or dirty in the diaper. It will cry when it’s hungry. It will cry if it has pain in it’s tiny body. It can sleep, once it gets tired enough, in any situation–not even a lot of noise or a wrong bodily position can keep it from sleeping. Any parent can witness that.

So, why is it that as children, most definitely as teenagers and nearly all the time as adults, we will argue and fight to the nth degree when we believe we’re right about something. We’ll fuss with our parents–and go out of our way to challenge them. Argue with our friends–even the ones we like most. Contradict our beloveds. Fight with nearly anyone whose truth differs from our own.

I believe it’s because at some point, perhaps little by little, without much conscious awareness–we’re taught that it’s better to be right, than to feel good.

And therein lies one our basic human dilemmas. And I believe one of the biggest tangles that we need to unravel (overcome), if we want to be healthy and live a peaceful life.

Someone I met (just this week–April 11, 2017) mentioned to me that there’s an “aspect of ourselves” that feels bad/guilty, in his opinion after one is “born again” as a Christian, after they do something wrong.

Following that conversation, just a few days later, I met another lady (from India) who believes this aspect of internal knowing is in ALL of us. Going so far to say that her mother had told her and her siblings when they were small, that when they did something wrong they didn’t need to come and confess to her, because she said they would have to deal with their wrongdoing INSIDE of themselves! Yes, that they would certainly feel bad, maybe not immediately, but soon–all within themselves, no punishment from her or their father required!

About this same time, I began learning from Lama Nicholas Packard that we come sort of pre-packaged with virtue. We are all inherently GOOD! Aha! Our virtue may have been squashed in various ways while we were young, but we know deep within ourselves what is right.

I believe the Divine Spark lives inside each of us. We know “the right thing to do”, or the “right way to treat others”, though obviously, some people choose to fight, or hide from that knowing. Ah, the hiding in the Garden of Eden! Maybe, just perhaps, that was the hiding that we were being told about–not an actual bodily nakedness, but a spirit / soul hiding!

What do you think?

OM

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Blessed by Grandmother’s Wisdom

Using Emotional Freedom Technique to feel better

Originally published 2008 on my former website.

I believe any changes you are seeking to make in your life begin in your mind. That old saying, “I’ve made up my mind” has been around for a long time for a reason. Also, ever notice how many times a day you say, “I think…” in a conversation?

We are thinking every moment of our lives. Everything we feel and do starts first with our thoughts. So, I challenge you, to try to be aware of the thoughts you are thinking and see how many are limiting ones, or thoughts, that if you just “let go of” might make you feel better.

It works like this: a thought comes, then the feeling associated, then an action. Contemplate this.

This post is focused on something called Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT).

In April of 2008, I met with Janice Cunningham at HealthQuest in Titusville, Florida to see if we could stop me from a lifelong habit/addiction of picking (and/or chewing) my fingers. I previously had been a “nail biter” but an ex-husband broke me of the habit by smacking my hand anytime he caught me with it near my mouth. Yes, negative reinforcement works – to a point – but it wasn’t such a pleasant way! Meeting with Janice was the BEST $125 I EVER spent (up until that point) because aside from my body being cured of the addiction, my body also experienced other profound affects from just one EFT session!

I highly recommend Janice to everyone who is ready to work through their own “issues”.

You may be wondering what I mean when I say that I had been “picking my fingers”. So, it seemed that I only traded my bad habit of nail biting for something less noticeable. I was pulling at my cuticles, hang nails or any other rough areas of skin around my finger nails.

In 2007, I bought a book called, “Tapping the Healer Within” because my acupuncture doctor, Joan Massey (also from HealthQuest) had told me about it, and because I had tried everything else. I found that book to be a bit convoluted and besides, it mostly dealt with phobias and anxieties – neither of which I thought I had. More importantly, while reading the book, I found it too difficult to hold the book and try to tap on my body with my other hand. Or, maybe that was just my excuse – but the book, though interesting to me, wasn’t enough to help.

A few weeks prior to my personal EFT visit, my husband and I watched a show on the TLC television channel called, “I Can Make You Thin.” On the show, the host using EFT to help people overcome their food cravings. Because I had also tried everything to lose weight, I decided that I really needed some one-on-one personal guidance with both my weight issues and the finger picking habit. And much to my delight, after a 2.5 hour session with Janice, where I fully described both of my issues, I found resolution to some deep seated disturbing mental “programming.”

I had the best night’s sleep ever after that session! I guess I had not even realized that my sleep pattern had also been an issue.

So, aside from experiencing relief from finger picking that day, the habit does not reoccur unless I am stressed. I began a routine of exercising, eating less and so forth, so, the session also helped me let go of excess weight. I believe letting go of those issues aided my body in losing the weight.

During my EFT session with Janice, we spent nearly two hours going back into my past, into my former marriage, teenage years and finally, childhood years. I realized that I had picked up my habit of finger nail biting at the same time I had been diagnosed with the asthma – when I was six years of age. My mom has always been a terrible nail biter, biting her nails down into the quick (pink part), so I knew I’d picked up the habit from my mom, but I had not realized just how much of a connection there was between that habit, my asthma, and my mom.

I fully became aware, during my EFT session, that when my mom’s father died, my maternal grandfather, that this deeply affected her — and ME.

The important thing about that experience is to know now, that when I was a child, how much that event upset my mom and how fully connected I was to my mom and her EMOTIONS. It was natural for my mom to be upset about losing her father. But, I had taken her upset on as MINE. I vividly recall believing if she could lose him, I could lose her. And that I couldn’t live – couldn’t breathe in fact – without my mom.

I remembered (during my EFT session), that as a child, when I would say my nightly prayers, that I would plead with God not to take my mom away from me. This may not make sense to many people, but I am an only child, the only child who lived of the six pregnancies my mom had. My mom (and dad) have always told me how much they love me (not a bad thing in and of itself) and how precious I am, a miracle, gift, etc. But, because of this, I became a super responsible adult. I had held on to some deeply rooted beliefs about having to “live up to any and all expectations” and so forth.

My EFT session sort of felt like it had been a combination of counseling and hypnosis (though I was awake and totally aware of what was happening). It seemed as though Janice had been talking to me on a deep soul level.

During the session, Janice recommended I take some notes, both of things that I was becoming aware of, as well as how to be able to run through this process again on my own if need be.

I noted that I had always tried to “save my mom”.
I am not my thoughts.
My perception influenced my thoughts, but my perceptions were not always “true.”
The genie is out of the bottle.
I do not need the old thoughts.
Am I the thought or the awareness?
Am I “this” thought, or am I the awareness of “this” thought?
Who sent “this” thought? (My pain-body)
Examine “this” thought. It will probably be a limiting thought, a no-win thought, and one that would eventually bring pain.
To let go of “this” thought: 1) focus on the feeling of my breath in and out, 2) be the observing presence.
When I observe I suspend space.
Inspiration = In spirit, and inspiration fills me, lights me up from the inside – the same as when someone is in creative mode; you feel the creative energy inside, in your heart or chest, not in the head area.
The Aha moment when the head agrees to the inner knowing.
My nails = my own fear and anxiety to my feeling, as though I could never fix/help/save my mom.
A trigger for me is when I am faced with something I can’t do anything about, when I feel a sense of powerlessness.
But I’m a super responsible person – I’m supposed to DO something vs. just BE.
(This is the conflict that causes the habitual negative behavior).

Once we got to the root cause of my habit, it effortlessly left me.

EFT helped me to realize that even if I could pluck my mom out of her seemingly dysfunctional situation, that the change would not bring her happiness and that after all, it’s her life. It is what it is. I cannot “fix” the world. I am not here to “save” anyone else.

That “saving” realization freed me. Now, I still have other issues to work through, but wow, I really have that peace that passes all understanding after one EFT session! I have just been able to deal with things and just BE.

 

I can’t say enough about EFT. If you think you’ve tried everything to find relief from anxiety, depression, weight issues, nerve problems, etc. I implore you to try EFT. You do not need to “believe in it” for it to work for you. And what do you have to lose?

Here is a link to explain what EFT is all about: http://www.emofree.com/

You probably already know that most physical ailments begin in the mind. I’ve met many doctors over the years who have told me this too, but it is best explained: “It is an established fact that psychosomatic disorders (PSD) are in fact responsible for a great share of OTC medications, mainly for anxiety and depression. Psychotherapy deals in harmonizing the agonized mind, while Aromatherapy acts as a support system for the mind as well as the dis-eased physical body/ physiology.” per a quote from Dr. Ravi Ratan.

UPDATE: Join me for a lesson in how to perform Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) at the Awakening Wellness Center, Feb. 4th, 2017 from Noon – 1pm.

Located at:

6161 Dr Martin Luther King St N, Suite 102 St Petersburg, FL

(727) 289-4747

And come out to the Awakening Into The Sun Zen festival in beautiful downtown St. Petersburg, Florida during the weekend of March 4th and 5th at South Straub Park. I’ll be on stage between musical performances sharing about EFT.

Take it upon yourself to be healthy, joyful, vibrant, and beautiful. Be who you want to be.

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Information provided is for educational purposes only and is not intended to treat, diagnose or prescribe.

Natural health: Relief from anxiety using EFT / Tapping

Originally published on EXAMINER Sept. 7, 2013

Have you ever had the experience of someone making you mad / angry, and in that moment you either didn’t know what to say, or you would cuss, hurl insults, flip a certain finger, yell, scream, throw a fit, or act in some other seemingly uncontrollable manner?

Maybe in the moment of confrontation you go into a rage, attack, cry, pout, or run away? Or you just can’t wait to get home, so you can tell your spouse, tell the offending person off on Facebook, slide into emotional eating, or make gooey fattening comfort food and chow down into oblivion.

I have great news!! A healthy, non-calorie, alternative you can use on yourself to calm your central nervous system! And it’s FREE, once you learn it, and you can do it at nearly any time.

I’ve found relief from the anxiety experienced during those highly charged confrontations. Plus, I’ve learned WHY I never seem to know what to say in that hostile moment.

It’s how we’re wired, and it has everything to do with the fight or flight response! The amygdala in our brains is actually so busy trying to figure out if we should scream or flee from the offending person that the analytical part of our brain can’t get a word in, or out! Seems funny to say that now but it really is what happens and that too, is frustrating – causing us even more irritation in the moment!

The confrontation ends and a few minutes later, or an hour, or a day, we think to ourselves, “why didn’t I say…”.

When I get upset I’d rather not feel nervous or tense, I’d rather like to laugh, walk away, or be able to just shrug it all off. Instead, even if it’s only my self talk, I get irritated and think “get a life”, or such. But, I don’t like that. I’d like to always be conscious of my thoughts and in control of the words that come out of my mouth. Wouldn’t you?

I’d like to say anything other than hurl an insult (which I admit is rare but has happened). I hear people say, “it is what it is”, “life goes on”, “God bless you”, or simply laugh and shrug it off, never to give it any more thought. Me? Noooo… I tend to bring it all home and stew about it. Which leads to negativity. And if carried around long enough it could affect my health.

Thankfully though, I am evolving.

In fact now, I stay in alignment more with my true nature more every day. I choose to let it all go, right then, right in the moment. Ahhh. Before, how I felt depended on whatever had influenced my day. Now, I really have a choice!

I learned about EFT years ago when I learned about acupuncture and the meridian system of the body. I even went to an EFT coach for one-on-one help with a couple of issues. Later, I took some friends to the EFT coach. This past year or so I’ve been practicing EFT /Tapping much more regularly for a host of things, and I love it! And I am talking and writing about it.

On Sept. 5, 2013 I gave my first FREE public EFT / Tapping presentation!

I really enjoyed sharing this information with new friends at our RV park.

Seven people came out for the event, and I’ve already received heartwarming feedback. It’s helped people feel better, and that’s the whole point. Relief! Results!

The attendees were: a senior couple, three single ladies, a single guy, and my husband (8 including me)! Woot! The single gentleman was concerned for his doggie at home – who experiences storm anxiety so we even tapped about that! Great group! So open to learning, sharing, and tapping together! We tapped on anxiety, on the economy/government/politics, and all the stormy weather we’ve been having this lately in St. Petersburg, FL.

If you don’t have a clue about EFT / Tapping, I have several websites I can point you to and videos. I’ll include several links below.

Here are the basics:

Talk about your problem, negative feelings, anything unwanted, sad emotion, depressing thing that’s going on IN THE MOMENT while tapping on the side of one hand with two or three fingers from the other hand. Rate on a scale of 1-10 how much you’re feeling the negative or unwanted emotion before you start and after you end. This will help you to know the Tapping provided relief.

Say this “problem” 3 times, beginning with “Even though” and ending with “I deeply and completely love and accept myself or something about myself that I believe is true about ME, like: my body, my soul, my feelings, my emotions, my name, etc.)”. You will want the statement to be true, so you can use your own words, the ones that resonate your truth. Here are some examples of this:

The scenario: A clerk is short, brisk, rude or some such thing and it upsets me. I walk out in a huff vowing to myself never to go back to that store again! I feel the irritation and maybe even anger in my body. I do not want to carry that negative emotion to the next interaction I have with anyone, much less all day, much less all week, etc. So as I leave the store and enter my car I say out loud to myself while tapping the side of my hand:

  • Even though I’m so annoyed with that !@#$ clerk at the store, and my anger is warranted, I could have just (insert what you usually say here, punched, kicked, yelled, cussed) at or to her, I deeply and completely accept my feelings
  • Even though that clerk was really rude to me, she totally ticked me off, I deeply and completely honor my soul
  • Even though she was a stupid, ignorant, jerk, idiot, moron, you name it… and should have thought before she spoke, I deeply and completely love and respect myself

Now, I move through the rest of the tapping points, choosing one word from anything I just said about the problem to reinforce to my brain that I really did feel / experience this issue:

For each point tap 5 to 7 times, not necessary to count them just tap and talk and go with the flow. Also these words are just an example, say whatever your feeling. I realize you may not know what word to associate with the feeling but with practice that will come easier and easier.

  • Inside beginning of the eyebrow (Say out loud): I’m so irritated
  • Side of the eye: I say – I’m very frustrated
  • Below the eye: Ugh, I’m Upset
  • Below the nose and above the upper lip: Angry
  • Below the bottom lip, in the crease of the chin: I feel bullied
  • Collarbone point(s): Annoyed
  • Under the arm*: I’m really Mad
  • Top of the head: Flustered
  • Take a nice big deep breath

The under arm point for women is at the bra line, for men it’s about a hand width from the arm pit.

Repeat this process two or three more times, using different words. Hopefully you’ll notice that you’re choosing easier, lighter words because by the second or third round you’re feeling better! I’ve found the second round goes something like this:

  • Even though I got upset during that confrontation at the store, and believe I’m justified to feel the way I do, I deeply and completely choose to somehow get over it
  • Even though that clerk was a jerk, she probably didn’t set out to ruin, or spoil my day, I deeply and completely love and accept my intentions
  • Even though people should be nicer, I would like to practice what I preach, somehow forgive, and deeply and completely tune into some good feelings now

And then…

  • Inside beginning of the eyebrow: (tap 5-7 times on each of these points) Say out loud: I’m still aggravated
  • Side of the eye: I say – But somehow I want to let it go
  • Below the eye: That silly clerk, what was she thinking?
  • Below the nose and above the upper lip: Spoil my day
  • Below the bottom lip, in the crease of the chin: I’m justified in how I feel
  • Collarbone point(s): but I don’t want this to ruin my day
  • Under the arm*: I didn’t do anything wrong
  • Top of the head: I played no part in that
  • Take a nice big deep breath

Last round:

  • Even though all my feelings about this situation seem warranted, I deeply and completely comfort myself
  • Even though people may not always act their best, I deeply and completely honor all of my choices
  • Even though people make mistakes, I want to forgive and live in a state of gratitude no matter what is going on around me, I deeply and completely love and accept myself

Then…

  • Inside beginning of the eyebrow: (tap 5-7 times on each of these points) Say out loud: I’m feeling a little less upset
  • Side of the eye: I say – I’m still a bit annoyed
  • Below the eye: Because I don’t understand some people
  • Below the nose and above the upper lip: But I don’t want to carry this around like baggage all day
  • Below the bottom lip, in the crease of the chin: So, somehow I choose to let it go
  • Collarbone point(s): She’s already forgotten about it I bet
  • Under the arm*: I have no reason to continue to think about it either
  • Top of the head: So I guess letting it go really does feel better
  • Take a nice big deep breath

The photo / drawing that follows is a realistic example of the three (3) main EYE tapping points for our EFT work. Top end of eyebrow point, beside and under the eye. Below the nose / above the lip and below the bottom lip in the crease of the chin. Points are marked in pink.

master

The next drawing displays the tapping points marked in blue. This includes: top end of the eyebrow, beside and below the eye. Between nose and upper lip. Below the bottom lip on crease of chin. Also, where we tap on the top of the head.

master

For deeper understanding about other ways EFT can help you, read my previous article here.

Here are the links to more on EFT / Tapping – pick the one that best suits your needs!

The Tapping Solution – Nick Ortner

How EFT works in the brain – Nick Ortner

EFT – Gary Craig

Anxiety tapping – Margaret Lynch

EFT for digestion – Julie Schiffman of Dr. Mercola Center

Special thanks to those who assisted me during my first EFT presentation:

Thanks to my wonderful soul-sister “test” tapping model – Lola!!!

Responses about EFT results I’ve received:

You were terrific! Thanks for the wonderful presentation on EFT!! It works!!
Class attendee

Oh, you’ll enjoy this! M. has her 3 year grand daughter tapping! Is that too cool?!?!
You are amazing Sheila! Hope you have a wonderful day!
Hugs,
B.

I wanted to thank you SO MUCH for the knowledge you shared on your site. I clicked on the EFT tapping menu tab and have been doing the tapping for the last three days after watching the video, reading about it and printing out the instructions. I have been tapping about body pain and also for anxiety and so far, it is helping a great deal thus, I am MOST GRATEFUL to YOU for passing along this knowledge. I have forwarded the information to two others…
Friend

UPDATE: I will be offering a class on Freedom from anxiety using EFT on:

Saturday February 4th, 2017

Noon – 1pm

Awakening Wellness Center

6161 Dr Martin Luther King Jr Street N – Suite 102, St Petersburg, FL

Suggested: $10

Take it upon yourself to be healthy, joyful, vibrant, and beautiful. Be who you want to be.

–If you would like to support my blog and continue on your self help path with a trusted personal development leader, please visit my sponsor:

Get Ready! Your breakthrough awaits at TonyRobbins.com.

Information provided is for educational purposes only and is not intended to treat, diagnose or prescribe.

Do you feel as though you are reaching the end of your rope? Please read this first!

Originally published on EXAMINER June 5, 2016.

If you feel as though you might be reaching the end of your rope, please reach out to someone! Do not give up hope! Don’t end it all. It might feel hopeless to you in this moment, but please talk with someone — anyone! Maybe, consider talking with someone new!

I once worked with a young lady who committed suicide. I didn’t know her. One morning, after my meditation, a thought dropped into my mind. How sad was it that she ended her life and had never even had one conversation with everyone in our office! Sure, I had seen her around the office. She had even worked with someone sitting right next to me once. I’d passed her in the hall. I’d said hello to her while washing our hands in the ladies room. But, we had never had one conversation. And we had worked for the same company for more than two years.

I understand being an introvert. I am naturally introverted. But if you are going to make a conscious choice to end your life, which to me, would require a great deal of courage, wouldn’t you at least work up a little bit of that courage to talk with every person in your office, your neighbors, or someone walking down the street, FIRST?

What I am really suggesting is that there are untold opportunities to learn something new, experience a new way of looking at your problems, or perhaps, even a new way of living! Why would you want to end it all before even exploring any of those possibilities?

Somewhere, someone cares about you. And even if in this moment you can’t believe that could be true, YOU should care about you. Make a list, even if it’s just a mental list, of all of the things in your life that up to this point you’ve accomplished. Did you successfully get through elementary school, high school, college? Have you ever worked a job? Cared for a pet? Cared for a parent or a child? Have you ever told a joke, or made someone smile? If you could do any of those things, you can hold on for one more day. Give someone new a chance to show you life is worth living!

Tomorrow is another day. No man, woman, thing, or circumstance is worth ending your journey on this beautiful planet. Don’t take your own life!

You have choices!

Let’s say you’re in a narcissistic relationship. Perhaps even YOU might feel as though you are the narcissist.

You are worthy! Everyone is worthy of life!

Here are some links to direct you to my dear friend of mine, Beverly Banov Brown — who specializes in narcissistic relationship counseling.

Narcissistic relationships

Let’s say you’re depressed. And I know depression hurts. In this kind of situation, it kills.

Because I admit, you may be reading this from a very different mindset than the mindset that I wrote it, I will quote a dear friend of mine (who sent the following to me after she read the first publishing of this article). She wrote,

There is a difference between being depressed from the daily stresses of life and being clinically depressed. Unfortunately, when people suffer from clinical depression there is no space in their being to reach out to do the things you’ve suggested. There is no room in their chest for breath, no light in their heart to feel love from partners and family members. No energy for walks, only pain and it hurts to be alive. It’s a very dark place to live and one that is incredibly difficult to climb out of. In these situations, it is more helpful for a family member/loved one to be of service. Trying to “pick someone up” by being overly happy and energetic is misguided and a slap in the face to those who are suffering. Just sitting in silence and holding the space for their pain lessens the burden and creates an opening for dialogue. Try not to want to “fix” the person as they are not broken. In fact, they are very much alive and feeling the rawness of life itself. Lean into their pain and hold them as they tell you how dark it is. By sharing this space, it literally opens up new possibilities for a breath to be taken. It takes time and patience but each new breath will breathe life into the dark corners. Clinical depression is a life long battle and one that must be honored on a daily basis. Treat it as a friend, become intimate with it’s warning signs. Often times the person struggling with depression will feel a bout of it coming on. If caught before it has fully engaged the person’s mind, body and soul…then it is much easier to do the things that you’ve mentioned in your well written article. Thank you for addressing such an important issue. It needs to be talked about often and openly as so many of us suffer from this. Much of my life’s work will be directed toward people who struggle with depression and/or addiction.

In health and wellness, blessings to you.

My friend Robin poured this out to me from her wonderful open and loving heart. And from her experiential knowing of depression.

So, I am not a mental health counselor, nor did I originally write this article about those who are experiencing clinical depression per se. I am attempting though, to help you stop, breathe, or refocus–even if only in the smallest way–to give yourself a bit of hope and potentially the time to reach out to someone — anyone. I know suicide is a very complex and complicated subject, but I feel compelled to start somewhere after losing a beautiful young coworker.

After sharing the previous paragraph back to my friend, she wrote,

I hear you Sheila and am grateful that you are willing to write about this. My heart goes out to you and the loss that you experienced. Suicide is about clinical depression, the darkest and toughest depression to battle. My father took his own life one Sunday morning when I was 9 years old. He was bipolar with clinical depression on top of that. Those of us with parents that suffered from some form of mental illness, are oftentimes genetically predisposed to similar traits. My own battle with depression has led me into the belly of the beast. It’s a very scary experience for those who are standing in the fire. My advice to those who have loved ones that are going through this is to find them some immediate help. Waiting for a shift in their emotions is often a death sentence when truly at the bottom. You are a kind and loving person, I salute you for taking this subject on!

Yes, this subject is near and dear to me on many levels. The day that he took his life was the beginning of a very long journey for me. One that would take me decades to unravel. I have enormous empathy and compassion for human suffering. As long as we carry a body, we all suffer in different ways. Making yourself available to others with clear boundaries in place is a noble effort and one that is very much needed in this world! The one thing that I’m clear about…we are here to love and to help each other find our way home again.

So, I offer this updated article, that not only brings my thoughts, but those of my dear and beautiful friend to you in hopes that any of our words will help you in some way. I thank my friend for sharing her experience with us all, more than words can express! Much love! Hugs to you my dear heart!

Reach out to someone for help. And there are many people available to help you! There is always hope and grace, somewhere.

You can call Silent Unity for prayer, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week at: 800-669-7729

There is no need you can have which is so trivial, no pain you can experience so great, that breath, prayer, and meditation cannot soothe.

Prayer has been the heart of Unity for more than a century. It’s a ministry available to serve anyone, no matter your faith, 24-hours-a-day, 7 days-a-week. You can write or call about any need, day or night, and a loving being will pray with you. We know you need someone who will listen to you and pray with you. All requests for prayer are confidential and treated with reverence.

Write to Silent Unity at:
1901 Blue Parkway,
Unity Village, Mo. 64065-0001

or call: (816) 969-2000

If you have no means to pay for the call dial:
(800) 669-7729

or you can always go online to: www.silentunity.org

Breath is always free. Focus on your breathing for awhile.

Go for a walk outside. See if you meet anyone along the way. Smile. Feel like you can’t? Try it anyway. One step at a time.

Sometimes we inherit (we “in hear” it; hear within) problems from our parent’s, relatives, or guardian’s — their argumentative or toxic relationships do not have to influence us though!

Sometimes we think we’ve made bad choices and cannot undo them. Think again.

If you are in a toxic relationship, consider if you care too much. Or perhaps you are an empath, always trying to help someone else. Now you’re drained of energy. Now you think there is no hope. But even false hope, is hope.

If you are an empath, know that empaths can naturally lean toward attracting narcissists. If you find that you’ve been trying to resolve someone else’s problems, and it’s all taking a toll on you, you need support! Only in movies are narcissists cured. Narcissists do not love themselves. And they can be very dangerous. Talk with someone who has the resources to help you.

The movie Moonstruck provides a glimpse into narcissism when Johnny’s mother is “dying everyday”. Some people go around claiming that they’re “dying everyday” for 20 years! In Moonstruck, Johnny’s mother manipulates the entire family. That character did not know “how to love”.

Go to YouTube and watch uplifting and informative videos, like the the ones presented by our good friend and life coach, Beverly Banov Brown.

If you are being mistreated or abused, consider this thought: People in pain cause other people pain. No one deserves to be bullied or abused. You do not deserve whatever negative thing someone is doing to you.

Some things to try in order to begin to feel hope and grace:

  • Put your hand on your heart and tell yourself that you love “you”. Say it again and again. Feel your heart beat. Relish in knowing it will beat for you even without you directing it to do so. Bless your heart.
  • Allow yourself to feel your pain, then as you exhale, allow a bit of it to leave your body. If someone wants to listen to your while you vent about what’s going on in your life, let them. Allow someone in.
  • Put your hands together when you pray. Don’t believe in prayer? Put your hands together and sit quietly. Ask for nothing. Just sit and breathe. Breathe deeply. Give yourself permission to cry, or laugh, or scream!
  • Scream! Afraid someone will hear you? Hope they hear you! You do not have to get through your situation alone.

What new and positive choices, are available to you now?

Life is for the living, go take a chance and live!

We understand that if you have been diagnosed by a medical professional as someone in clinical depression, you need professional help. This article is not intended to replace qualified licensed professional medical advice. This article is provided for educational purposes only and is not intended to replace discussions with a healthcare provider. All decisions regarding your care must be made with a licensed professional healthcare provider, considering your unique characteristics and health history.

Depression can present a high risk of suicide. Anyone thinking of suicidal thoughts should be taken very seriously. Do not hesitate to call your local suicide hotline immediately. Call 800-SUICIDE (800-784-2433) or 800-273-TALK (800-273-8255) or the deaf hotline at 800-799-4889.

Ye who have ears, let them hear.

Blessings to you in ALL ways.

Amen. Namaste. OM