Got Problems? Opposites Attract

Why does it seem that opposites attract? Takers take too much from givers. Givers give too much and become drained, or sick. Energy vampires SUCK!

Dear one, oh sweet empath — they are drawn to you for your light.
For the healing energy of the light.
Just allow them to come.
Allow them to heal.
They will only take the frequencies they need.
They cannot take too much.
They cannot take your higher vibrations because they are not ready for them – they are not a match – no parity.
Keep refilling yourself from the light.
You will be gifted with higher frequencies as you see not what is seemingly being taken from you.
As they cannot take from you, that which you do not have. And you have a never ending, unceasing Limitless supply!
Why does it seem that opposites attract? Doesn’t like attract like?
The Universe conspires to order. To balance the energies.
Perhaps it is the strength of the energies that matter?
Example of alignment opposites attract.png
WARNING — You may not want to hear this! — WARNING
In everyday scenarios we explain it thusly —
The narcissist is drawn to the empath’s light. Like a moth to the flame.
Allow them to receive the light from you that no other will give to them.
THEY actually know the truth. The truth about dualism and illusion that you fail to see. It’s all about them!
But you are hurt because you do not know that it’s also all about you!
So, you stay in your hurt place, stagnant and seemingly disconnected.
That is YOUR choice.
But separation is illusion. Even if you can’t realize it yet, We Are All Connected.
Yin and Yang.
We are here to achieve balance.
This is why you, my dear and loving hearts, always attract the assholes, liars, thieves, energy vampires, wacky, crazy, bitchy, mean-spirited, which all boil down to the fact that these people are HURTING / suffering. And here they are at your door, looking to you to heal them, help them, make them whole.
Yet, you choose to turn away.
You can.
It’s okay.
But you’ll continue to get more of the same, until you clean up your vibrations.
Oh! Dear ones, you are missing a very big point.
You attract your like kind too, so that you can recharge. But is it not better to come directly to the Limitless, Ever-Living, Filling-All-Space, Creator, Source Energy — the ONE?
Hurt people aren’t of the frequency match to come to Creator.
You are their “step-up”! Perhaps you’ve heard of Jacob’s ladder?
Step up.
Step up.
Know that all of your hurt is needless. It only separates.
Know that all of your frustration is pointless. It only leads to ill health, pain, suffering.
And pain begets pain.
All you need focus on is what unifies.
All you need focus on is what uplifts.
All you need focus on is what builds.
All you need focus on is LOVE. Unconditional LOVE.
We told you this in the Be-attitudes and other ancient books.
Be still and know.
Love for ALL.
Limitless LOVE.
Love can never die. Love has always has been. And always will be.
You can transmute all disparate energies with LOVE.
Be still and know.
Omnipresence.
Omnipotence.
Omniscient.
Omni-everything.
Yes! OM I-everything.
OM
Look at how many of your common words contain the OM to bring you back hOMe: wOMan, mOM, abdOMen, accOModate, accOMplish, anatOMy, bloOM, cOMpany, cOMpass, and so on.

Example of alignment opposites attract.png

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Walking more than a mile in another’s moccasins

My grandmother (of Native American descent) often said,

Never judge someone until you’ve walked a mile in their moccasins.

And apparently, as a child, I soaked that right up! So much so, that I became an empath. Or perhaps, I was born an empath and her words resonated with me and validated my nature. Either way, empathy can be quite the double-edged sword. I’ve realized my life’s path has had me walk more than a mile in my mom’s moccasins–and also in my dad’s shoes. And I’m tired. Yet, profoundly grateful that I’ve learned so much.

No matter how many times I’ve pondered the heartache, the gut-wrenching, soul-shaking, events of my childhood–that I’ve recreated (knowingly or not) in my adult life, with some incredibly ridiculous desire to FIX–I can’t fix anyone else. And I’m glad I figured that out before I met my third husband! No one can fix anyone else.

Just like that old joke, 

How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb? None. The bulb has to want to be changed.

Unfortunately, even my children picked up the yoke of this dastardly twisted need to fix others, as they’ve fallen into some of the same relationship woes as I have in the past. And fortunately, all of us are in healthy relationships presently! Thank God we’ve all awakened from the lure of this whole “fixing” trap!

So, why am I writing this piercing note in the middle of the night?

Because I promised my daughter, if I accomplish one thing on this planet while I’m alive this time around, it is to break the “lather, rinse, and repeat” cycle of fixing–for my granddaughter. And all of my writing (both online and in books) is to ultimately leave earth-bound knowledge for my grandchildren. Of course, if any of these words help others, that’s a bonus. I never fully knew Divine LOVE, until I held my granddaughter in my arms for the first time. She (Jennie), means more to me than I can ever fully put into words.

What can I deduce from this new found comprehension of having walked all of these miles, in my mother’s, and yes, some in my father’s moccasins?

That life’s not been easy. But, it was never my job to work out their issues.

My “love of my life” husband and I picked up a saying this past year that goes,

Not my circus, not my monkeys.

And whenever I start to complain about something that doesn’t really belong to me–someone else’s drama–my hubby will pop that quote out to me. I love him so much for bringing things like that to my attention! He knows the empath in me often gets sucked into other’s drama, because I always feel that I can help ease their pain–somehow.

The Universe presented us with that very same phrase the other day, while we were enjoying our big outdoor Awakening Into The Sun festival! My friend Mary Ann, owner of Awakened Fibers had a handmade wall hanging with the words, “Not my circus, not my monkeys” embroidered on it! How fun!

And as if that wasn’t enough, a few minutes later while visiting with Dr. Alison J. Kay, her assistant, Brenda, told us a new phrase that fully resonated with me. It was, 

You’ve heard it said to get your ducks in a row? But, they were never your ducks.

My goodness! What if the stuff I took on (for years), all of those “other people’s problems”, were never my ducks? I never needed to get any “ducks” in a row to straighten out my parents issues. Who did I think I was to feel burdened to do that? Ugh! And now you see why I am tired. Tired of carrying the emotional baggage of others–it was never my bag to carry!

On the upside, I’ve had a successful (nearly thirty year) career out of the need to walk in my dad’s technical “know-how” shoes. And after wanting a pair of real honest-to-God moccasins for years, I finally got some, and I’ve been wearing them all winter. I feel every pebble under my feet as I walk. And I love it! I get the benefit of grounding daily, and knowing that wearing these shoes, physically brings my grandmother’s saying directly into my body, instead of it just hanging around in my mind like some mystical cloud.

So, yes, there are always positives. I know this. Why does it have to take some of us so long to figure it out?

Oh, because we’re programmed as children. Culturally, socially, and if you were raised in a religious faith, you (and I) were programmed. I’m glad I figured that out!

Now, energetically at least, I’ve cut the cord of all of this for my granddaughter–and any additional grandchildren whenever they enter our lives. 

Here and now I state, my grandchildren will not have to take any historical family burdens upon themselves. They can be self-filled. Self-motivated. They can help others as they choose. Free spirits! They can care for themselves first, without guilt. They can choose to do what they love! They do not have to repeat the sins of their parents, or of mine. They do not need to try and figure anything out. The past is the past and it is abSOULutely done.

I have broken this chain of fools.

 

What happened after attending “Your Sensitivity Is Your Power” teleseries

Just before the New Year, I had the immense pleasure of doing a bit of “pre-paving” my future by attending Dr. Alison J. Kay’s, “Your Sensitivity Is Your Power” tele-call series, and wowee!!

So, what happened after I attended the tele-call series?

I gained a clarity of my own personal power. Almost like I was stepping up a staircase of emotional well-being and balance! Yes, I accepted an invitation from the Universe to step up my personal power by being on these calls, and I’m the better for it!

As a sensitive type of person–in my life having been known as one to cry easily, become overly concerned with other people’s dramas, or get easily overwhelmed, I noticed each day after the tele-call experience, I felt lighter, happier, and less concerned with other people’s “stuff” going on around me!

Sometimes, I tend to feel as though I am carrying the burden of other people so much, that I prefer not to interact with others at all. Much of those feelings lifted after the tele-call series for me, and continue to lift as time goes on.

People used to tell me they knew I was naturally empathic. Dr. Kay explained empaths and their traits in great detail during the tele-call series. She let us know how each of us could use our gift of empathy to give us more ease and comfort day-to-day. We learned how to use our sensitive side without losing our sense of self.

After each tele-call, I began to practice any/all of the following each day–whenever any difficult situation or conversation would occur:

  • Mentally ask myself,Is this mine?” And, if I knew it was NOT my problem, then I would mentally state, “Return to sender with grace, ease, and love attached, or I would simply state, “Send ’em love” (learned previously, but not practiced much) to really feel the vibrations emanating from my heart (the invisible intelligence Dr. Wayne Dyer used to speak of) going out to the person, lifting my feelings about whatever was going on.
  • Breathereally breathe, even take an extra walk as needed, climb stairs, stretch, or meditate. Then at my office desk, self soothe with my Young Living essential oils, Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT), Jin Shin Jyutsu (JSJ), and/or Yamuna Body Rolling — using one ball behind my back and/or putting my bare feet on the foot wakers under my desk. (This has also has enabled me to share these modalities with others when they would ask what I was doing–Yay!)
  • Distance myself when my inner being tells me, re-soundly, that right NOW (in THIS moment), this person or place is not good for me (or I am not good for others in this space). I honor, respect, and love myself enough, to walk away and go to another place where I can feel good!
  • Set boundaries. I can choose whether–whatever is happing in this moment–conflicts with what I’ve previously written about (to “Be open to receive”) and to know that I am allowed also, to receive or not. Must I receive all and filter? Must I receive bad to receive good? Maybe. But, I have the power to choose that for myself.
  • Expand my energy – Each morning include in my meditation to go into my awareness and expand it outward to my family, my circle of influence, neighbors, local community, state, region, country, continent, and world. Celebrate the knowing of others via Twitter, Facebook, my blogs, etc. whom live in other countries. Celebrate this knowing of WE ARE ALL CONNECTED. This is true.
  • Empower myself. Indeed, put my cape on! 😉 Be my authentic self. Act on the truth that my inner being resonates with, i.e. when I feel my “God bumps”. I even signed up for Dr. Michael Bernard Beckwith’s Life Visioning class, no doubt because of how powerful I felt after completing Dr. Kay’s tele-call series! How does it get any better than this? Yay! And later, I signed up for Yamuna classes (see this Examiner article I wrote) to learn about “Body Rolling”.
  • Though I know, I don’t act like it. It is never necessary to be the victim. I am not trapped. I always have a choice. I break any DNA, biological, mental, or spiritual chains that could have come through my lineage and blood. In the name of our Limitless, Ever-Living, Omniscient, Omnipresent, Omnipotent, Pulsating, Be-ing, Creator Source God who IS the Energy that holds the Universe together. Beyond what we can see. Beyond what we now know. Faith IS the substance of things not yet seen.

Empaths have our own level of sensitivity, level of awareness, unique energetic healing modalities, and spiritual gifts to share with the world! I am ready to share mine!

The tele-call sessions with Dr. Alison J Kay and her empowering messages and clearings, transformed past (even something that happened a moment ago is “the past”) shame of negative actions–allowing me to consciously “let go” of negative limiting thoughts, acknowledging that forgiveness is a daily process. I knew the pain I felt in my body were the cells of my body (scientist Candace Pert proved cells hold memories) calling out for me to transcend and know that really everything IS okay!

Dr. Kay’s clearings tuned me in and provided me with different verbiage to explain to myself, and to you in this post, what had been happening. Healing is an ongoing PROCESS!

Everyday life causes certain connections to occur:

  • The neighbor who may or may not smile at me when I step outside. That person doesn’t know me.
  • The store clerk that serves me may ask, “Did you find everything okay?” without really meaning it.
  • The restaurant owner’s son, who while ignoring us, scolded an employee (the employee was actually attempting to seat us) for not following proper procedures. He didn’t realize they would lose a customer by behaving that way in front of us, instead of just seating us–they could train their staff in private later!
  • The soldier (police, firefighter, teacher, or other public servant) who is just “doing their job” without considering the moral choices he or she actually has.

Many of us abdicate our ability to choose and lose a moment (or more) of happiness and joy for  ourselves and others. And we can help others – we really can! If we’re in better shape emotionally, mentally, and physically, we can change the world! And why is that important? Because We Are All Connected!

The energies and what I learned during Dr. Alison J. Kay’s tele-call series for sensitives continues to free me. The time spent on her calls FELT sooo good, not just for a short time, but weeks later.

About Dr. Alison J. Kay: Meditation and yoga teacher Dr. Alison J. Kay, offers weekly group telephone calls, online video-conferencing (Google Hangout), and private sessions where you can learn about meditation techniques. She teaches yoga classes too! Her group fitness classes include: yoga, mind-body, and core-strengthening.

Dr. Alison J. Kay studied in the east, Asia and India and thoroughly knows and understands the basis of the placebo effect (using several modalities, including meditation) and it’s relationship basis of subtle energy.

Learn more about Dr. Kay here –>> Alison J. Kay (Healer, author, yoga and meditation teacher, QiGong instructor, and coach)

The tele-call  series gave me hope for all of us to continue on our journey, learning and growing every day. To me, there is no such thing as “false hope”. Hope is hope. Because FAITH is the SUBSTANCE of things not yet seen.

I invite you to continue opening your mind to learning about something new in 2016 and beyond. You are never to old to be open to receive new and helpful information.

Be ye blessed in ALL ways.

 

Playing the “blame game” – climbing the emotional guidance ladder to a better feeling place

Playing the blame (guilt) game, ugh! But, I am where I am (as Abraham says) so, it’s gotta be okay. I am where I am in the middle of dis-ease, or grief, or shame, or self-loathing, or x-y-z, but, I am where I am and it’s okay. Why is it okay? Because I am where I am and I’ve got no other choice. Except to consciously take steps to improve my feelings, and reach a better feeling place. I want to feel better. I know it’s possible, but in “this moment”, my “now”, I am where I am!
I thought it might help me (and maybe others reading this who unfortunately fall into grief and despair), if I write down a couple of ways I worked through my pain over putting my beloved (almost 14 year old) best furry friend, Lou-Lou’s Beau “down”. (By the way, why the hell do they call it “putting him/her down” anyway? I think it should be “released” because my intention was to release him from his pain! Ugh! Beau 2009 summer
I also do EFT tapping using these statements which, helps to calm me and provide emotional relief. So here we go. Abraham (from the book, “Ask and It Is Given” state there are 22 groups of emotions one can be in, in any point in time. #22 is the lowest vibration, the bottom of the list. The lowest of the lows. So that’s where I start. Not to wallow, but you gotta start somewhere and that’s where I was the day I let Beau “go”.
The intention of “Ask and It Is Given” is to help us locate where we are, what state we’re in emotionally, at any given point, and move UP to a better feeling place on the list. The following are my words, using their numbering scale. I am not plagiarizing – but if you follow their list, you’ll see where I’m getting the terms from. Also, this is going to take awhile, so you may want to check back in a week or so to see how I’m doing, as my intention is to climb the emotional guidance ladder to a better feeling place.
22) I can find all kinds of reasons to feel guilty at this point (and I am talking “to” Beau at this point):
  • I could have researched more about your eye problem;
  • I could have had your eye removed; Beau closeup
  • I could have changed my mind, at any point, during the last year and a half regarding, “no more surgery” on you, after you had the kidney / bladder stone surgery.
  •  Stupid insensitive me held a belief, for some reason, that you shouldn’t have any more surgeries. Why?!? That was a limiting belief! Ugh!
  •  I was so afraid you couldn’t take another surgery. You’re older, you aren’t strong enough (Who the hell am I to judge that?)
  •  I’ve bought other things this year that I could have spent that money on you instead. You were much more important to me!!
  •  I could have spent every waking moment with you, instead of going shopping, or going to a class, or working! (Okay, really?)
  •  I miss you so much! I hurt because you are not here! I miss holding you, caring for your eyes, taking you to the groomer, feeding you, and walking with you!Beau 2008
  •  You were powerless and I feel horrible that you tried to tell me what to do but I didn’t listen, didn’t realize when you face planted off the couch that you were trying to pop your own eye out to relieve your pain and heal your body! Ugh?
  •  I am in despair that I now have learned that I could have asked one of your previous veterinarian’s to remove your eye! Actually none suggested that to me or we would have done that with the first eye then maybe the second eye would never had gone bad!!
  •  What is the point of living this life when everything / everyone dies eventually?!? This is depressing!
  • My mom loved you (and Lou-Lou) so much too! She didn’t get to say good-bye to you! Waaaaa!!My mom snuggles Beau 2008
21) I am feeling so unworthy of all the trust you placed in me to care for you.
  • Unworthy of your unconditional love!!! Gasp!
  • I feel such guilt for not doing ALL I could have for you!
  • My ignorance should be no excuse!!
20) I am jealous that the neighbor’s dog is probably older than you, but he’s still around!
  • He seems to be doing fine.
  • Oh, but he’s a mixed breed.
  • I never get jealous… but I am in this moment!
  • Others around us, they seem to be able to “go on living” without any thought about what we’re going through! The nerve! (I know, emotions are not logical!)
19) I feel anger at myself for not doing more! But, how much more could I “really” do?
  • Anger at the doctors, especially that opthamologist we saw a year a a half ago for not offering the eye removal option!!
  • They just wanted me to keep bringing you back to them every three months for a refill script / recheck for a compounded eye drop that you’d supposedly need every day of your life (mail order available only from NJ!!). Such bullshit!! Beau 2009 hanging out
19) I am discouraged that other people and doggies have to go through this trauma too!!
  • What discourages me is the inevitability of it all!
  • Why live this life if it’s all so futile?
  • Look how adorable both you (and Lou-Lou) were back in the day (2008) with my mom! My mom with Beau and Lou-Lou 2008
18) I don’t feel revenge – yet.
Wait, perhaps I do! I think I understand the revenge thing now. I feel that for myself. So, anger turned outward is revenge or spite. But, anger turned INWARD is depression, guilt, or self-loathing.
17) I am angry at myself for not being more bold on your behalf! But, I know you couldn’t live in your physical body forever. Ugh! This anger really feels strong in my body. I think yes, anger turned inward, to myself, causes depression, sadness, and pain.
16) I am discouraged.
  • I am disheartened that you suffered needlessly for months, (Gasp!) God forbid, more than a year!!
  • I am utterly discouraged with some of the veterinarian’s we went to over the years.
  • What about the guy who told me you just had “old doggy eye”. Jesus! Was he for real?
  • Then the next doctor, who I really liked, when I told him what the previous doctor had said, did not disagree with him, but did suggest more medications for you. And that I should take you to an opthamologist, which I did.
  • I am discouraged for others, that they’ll have to find a way, and figure this stuff out – even while their doggies (or cats) suffer needlessly. Why can’t we just “know” it all? Why can’t we go to one person, Google it, or read a book to find out?
  • Why all of this time seemingly wasted on the “trying” to figure it out?
15) I blame myself for your pain.
  • I will never trust myself to ever have another pet.
  • I am horrible! Besides, I could never replace YOU!
  • You were my best boy and best doggy EVER. Period!
  • This is the worst ever feeling!
  • I am so sorry Beau!!!
  • I trusted professionals to help (oh, maybe now I feel vengeful?) the experts should have given us the option a year ago to have your eye removed! Beau after Critter Oil bath3
14) I am worried if I did the right thing in “releasing” you.
  • My adult children (thank you sweet ones) have comforted me, saying I did, but I have all of these questions racing through my mind. Angst!
  • I almost never worry, but I am holding my worry finger (as I learned in Jin Shin Jyutsu) so I must be worried.
  • I feel the need to harmonize my worry over your suffering.
  • You almost never showed discomfort! But that didn’t mean you didn’t feel discomfort! Oh Beau! My best boy! Beau front Aug 2014
13) Doubt. Didn’t what I just say, show how much doubt I am in? Doubt and worry seem so tightly joined!
  • I doubt that I did the right thing (releasing you from your physical body), and then I doubt that I waited too long to do it!
  • I can’t make up my mind at all when I am in doubt.
  • I am mentally running to and fro!
  • This is sickening!
  • I cannot allow myself to stay in doubt for too long. I will make my stomach upset. I will make myself crazy… okay I might already be on “that train”. Hmmm
  • I doubt that I’ll get “your” ashes back, and what would I do with them anyway?
  • I doubt that your physical remains will comfort me. I took a lock of your fur – that comforts me a little.
  • I doubt I’m going to feel any better today. Beau and Lou-Lou Easter haircuts 2009
12) I am so ridiculously disappointed in myself.
I should have known better, and not stopped researching until I totally resolved your eye issues.
Why? Because I recall a dog trainer I had taken Lou-Lou to for several weeks, years ago told me, “The dog is this tall, but you are this tall! You can see things and make the choice to avoid them!” Truer words have never been spoken. Even if you are five feet tall, you are taller than your dog and can navigate them through life.
11) I am overwhelmed by sadness.
  • I seem to cry at the drop of a hat.
  • I look at your picture on my desk at work, and I cry.
  • I start to talk about you to someone, and I cry.
  • But I am starting to see that sometimes, I don’t cry.
  • And that makes me know that I am definitely reaching, trying to find, a better feeling place – even if just for a few seconds or minutes in between thoughts of you.
  • Thoughts of missing you so very much.
  • I was overwhelmed with responsibilities and did not place you in a higher priority of concern.
  • I am overwhelmed by the love and support of my family and friends during this time (though I do not feel deserving of it).
10) I am frustrated and irritated with the way I handled, or failed to appropriately handle my grief. Okay though, that’s one reason I am working through the emotions via this blog.
Oh, a few people attempted to encourage me out of my sadness, but yes, that just irritated me more!
9) I guess I am being quite pessimistic right now, never wanting another pet. Sheila and Beau Bike Week Daytona 2010
8) I sense boredom is around the corner for me.
But wait, I’ve got a ton of pictures of you that I can share. And I found where I had made a Daily Puppy page for you years ago — HERE.
And, the author of a book I am editing offered me her sincere words of compassion when she emailed me:
“Your beautiful and precious dog will be by your side forever more.” Thank you my dear, Lela Starseed.
7) Will I ever feel content again? You used to make me feel content when you would lay on the couch with me! Beau fav place Aug2014
6) Will I ever feel hopeful again? I hope you are running, jumping, and playing in your Spirit ethereal body that is whole and new!!
  • On the day of your release, our new vet told me that you’d meet Lou-Lou again at the Rainbow Bridge (and we laughed for a moment, that you may not want to!) then I said, “Beau, look for your tall white dog friend!”
  •  A couple days later, I’m calling in my family who passed, to find you.
  • I remember when I was a child, other kids would say, “don’t have a pity party”, during times when I displayed sadness. I also know self pity can be self destructive. How can we balance all of these feelings, when Recovery groups tell us we must allow ourselves to “feel our feelings”?
  • I know I need to move out of, rise above, the feelings of sadness about Beau.
  •  I am hopeful that as, We Are All Connected, you have reconnected with my family who loved you too! Oh… this is how I can reach for hopeful feelings! This is hope!Beau 2008 so handsome
 5) Everything I have learned about ‘life after death’ tells me, ANYTHING is possible!
  • I can feel optimism for you when I visualize you with a big white dog!
  • Was it an English Setter that you fell so in love with?
  • I have been researching this, and asking others, because I am still trying to pull myself, consciously, up this list (to feel better)! 
    Beau back Aug 2014
4) I am attempting to reach for thoughts of positive expectation, to believe you live on – somewhere.
  • While visualizing you crossing over the Rainbow Bridge, I see you dancing for a big white dog!
  • Perhaps, you’re even frolicking!?!
  • I focus on the fact that you’re no longer suffering.
  • I know you’re out of pain. Beau 42613
3) Oh, how in the world can I be happy? How can I feel enthusiasm / eagerness again – about anything?
  • I know that “life goes on”. I don’t like it, so now, I’m back to #9.
  • I know the emotional guidance system is not linear. I will go up and down this ladder many times over – for as long as it takes.
  • I know you’re out of pain. Beau Christmas 2008
2) I know passion is out there. In my future.
  • I remember the passion I had when you first came into my life. How small you were!
  • I remember sweetly, what it felt like to nurture, train, feed, bathe, and care for you. Beau 2003
1) I know joy is out there. In my future, I will remember how much joy you brought me. Those memories will have to sustain me, because you’re no longer here! Sniff!!! Tear. I miss you so very much! But somehow, I will smile again when I think of you. Someday, I will smile and not get a tear in my eye. da beauster
  • Because I will ALWAYS appreciate having had you in my life.
  • Because I know how to empower myself, to reach for better feeling thoughts, via multiple emotional healing modalities – yes, even at the lowest of times.
  • Because I know you’re FREE! You’re experiencing FREEDOM. Oh, sweet ultimate freedom!
  • I am grateful, so beautifully grateful, to have experienced your love, and to have loved you!
  • Beau came to show me that Lou-Lou loved me unconditionally too, but in a different way. She just expressed unconditional love differently than him! Beau and Lou-Lou in the coach Dec 2010
  • Remembering the wonderful way my beautiful granddaughter would say, “Awe!” When I would lift Beau to the camera to say hello to her when we would Google Hangout or Skype. She would say that with such a compassionate voice, just like she knew how he was feeling, or just because as a child, she loves furry creatures. I don’t know, but it warms my heart to recall how she said it.
  • Talking with a friend and relating a memory about a time when we were walking and someone yelled at me to get Beau away from their grass, I looked up at the sky and exclaimed, “thank you Beau! I will never have to go through that again!”
  • All of this knowledge, it is helping me to feel better. And I am open to receive more knowledge.

UPDATE 25-Oct-2015: Just when I had begun, and I do mean “begun” to feel I’d worked through all of my feelings (figured out how to get all the way to number one on the emotional guidance scale… I slid right back down to #15 (at least) and started crying when my beautiful little four year old granddaughter asked to “see Beau” while we were on video conference tonight! Damn, where was my emotional balance that had begun to feel better? It all went to shit, and fast. I had to jump right back on here and read my list again!!

UPDATE 27-Oct-2015: My wonderfully supportive husband put a big picture of you (Beau) on our iMac desktop. When I sat down at the computer and touched it, lighting up the desktop to reveal your picture, I gasped, “Oh, Beau!” and then, “Oh, thank you hubby! What beautiful thing to do!” It was this close-up of Beau taken about six or seven years ago. He was in perfect health! But, I started to cry…

UPDATE 28-Oct-2015: I don’t know what happened. But, when I came home from work today (after having my Pilates workout), I signed onto the computer, saw Beau’s close-up picture and I smiled! Yes, finally! It’s been a week now after his passing and I can actually smile and think of GOOD memories when I see his picture. This is wonderful progress back to my normal emotionally balanced set point. We went to dinner also, and I was able to show the picture I took of the computer desktop, 1) to give my husband props for doing this, and 2) to show off Beau. He’s such a cutie. I was able to talk about him and not cry. I still miss him, and yes, I catch some emotion in my throat when I go to plug my phone in, near where his water bowl was, but I am letting go of the overwhelming emotions.

A week later I still cry when I look at his picture (not every time, but often). So, why? Because I miss him!
I still feel guilt about not doing more sooner to alleviate his infection / illness. (even guilt about perhaps I should have put him down sooner!)
I could allow myself to feel guilty about EVERYTHING to do with his ill health but, in reality, I know I tried. As my kids and I have discussed many times, we can only do the best we can about anything at any given time based on the information we understand at the time.
I must give myself a break.
UPDATE 1-Nov-2015: I updated this post with pictures of Beau. After meditating yesterday, doing a journeying process at Alania’s studio, I am, just this morning, able to go through all of the pictures and videos I have of Beau (and Lou-Lou) and find special ones to share — without crying. I am finally, now, at a point where I have some emotional balance about everything that happened. All of the good, the utter joy of having Beau in my life, and the not-so-good stressful times… during his ills.
I wrote a eulogy for Beau, a little at a time, during the ‘decision’ time. I shared it on Facebook then, but not here — until now. This is the link to it — HERE.
UPDATE 7-Nov-2015: My dad and mom have a mixed breed who had puppies three months ago. When we visited, my dad really wanted me to have one of the three puppies. I just couldn’t do it. Too many reasons. One, it was just too soon. And two, I still don’t know if I ever want another. But, I know it might be the last gift my parents are able to give me. Ugh! And yes, the puppies are oh, so cute! There is a black, brown, and reddish colored one – she’s the smallest. Adorable! Almost a Yorkie. Then a snow white one, a bit bigger. She’s also a girl. What a princess. All of their personalities are similar to Beau’s. Quite docile. Then a beige or light golden boy. He is the largest of the three, just a bit smaller than his mom and all three are three months old. How much bigger will they get? My son put an ad on Craig’s list. We sat there all afternoon meeting with would be “parents”. One young man took Princess home, bathed her, only to return her awhile later. His girlfriend did not agree in their having a second dog. But awhile later, she was adopted by another young couple. We were glad to be able to meet and visit with each adopting couple, so we knew they were going to good homes. The next morning, after I left, my son let me know the third, the golden boy, was also adopted by an older married couple. Ah! Because when I had left he was giving me those “eyes” like,
Why aren’t you taking me?” — that broke my heart.
At any rate, that day, I talked with my dad and he said the mommy, Sunday, was still crying and looking for her puppies. Had they waited too long to let the puppies go?
UPDATE 10-Nov-2015: Dad called me and was still upset about all the puppies being gone and said Sunday is still crying for them. I am at a loss except that I think perhaps I should send Sunday a nice stuffed animal to have. I also researched and found that when we (the people) are still upset, the dogs will pick up on our feelings and display similar emotions.
UPDATE 11-Nov-2015: I Google Hangout with my granddaughter and show her my two stuffed doggies that my husband bought me years ago, that resemble our Beau (and Lou-Lou). She seemed really happy that I had them, and she accepted my short story about Beau crossing the Rainbow bridge and being healthy and happy now. And that he had left us these “replicas” of them for us to remember them by. I still have my moments when I cry. But, I know that in the big scheme of things, that’s okay.
So, yes this has all definitely been a process. The goal was to be able to reach for any of the thoughts higher than #11 I guess, in order to be in a so-so kind of minimum good feeling place about Beau not being here anymore. Obviously, being at #1 or #2 all the time (about his not being here in the physical realm) was something, at that time, I never thought could happen. But, some of those thoughts, along with most of the thoughts being in the good feeling range, eventually helped me overcome the feeling of wanting to burst into tears when anyone asked about him, or when I would see another Shih-Tzu that looks like him, etc.
I have talked with others who have told me they still cry, years later, about the loss of their pet. And as an empath, I feel very deeply. I knew if I could figure out a way, or at least, “allow” myself the space to exist where I could attempt to feel better, it would help me, emotionally. Holding onto hurt, loss, guilt, grief, and all of those painful feelings can cause dis-ease in the body (which, I want to avoid if possible).

I hope others can benefit (at least a little bit) from my process. Love and many blessings to all (furry and human).

Be as the blade of grass, grow through the dirt.

I’ve heard it said, “you’re either growing or dying” and that, “the universe is either expanding or shrinking.” If that is true, then it seems to acknowledge that everything in life, all there is around us, is dynamic – nothing is static.

In a previous post, I wrote that, “We grow as blades of grass, up through the earth.” And that “dirt, or earth, is analogous to all of the resistance we encounter.” These thoughts were instigated years ago, when a coworker encouraged me with the phrase, “Bloom where you are planted.” Oh how right she was!

At that time, I felt constant irritation from a superior when he would casually walk by my desk and tell me to smile – while I was working! Being the studious and serious type, smiling while concentrating on work tasks was something I just didn’t do. The more he admonished me to smile, the more aggravated I became. In passing, I must have mentioned my exasperation one day to my friend, when she lavished me with that golden nugget of truth – about the blooming. I even remember thinking of a response to her – likened to – “yes, no matter how much fertilizer is put upon you!” (but I didn’t tell her).

Day in and day out, I would notice people around me laughing, chatting, and cutting up during the day, but not me. I’m an empath, and feel lots of things, very strongly. The larger issue during this time, however, was that I became resentful.

I recall thinking, “we’re here to work” and “we’re here to earn our pay.” Why was I always the one to feel so determined! I was always applying effort. The pitfalls of continually wanting to do my best, try hard, people-please, and succeed, yada, yada. But at what cost to my self?

Realizing I was wallowing in resistance, I knew I had to climb out of it, or it would bury me. A seed pushes against dirt in order to grow, but I felt as though I was pushing against me, not growing, but receding! Plants, indeed everything in the living kingdom need the resistance in order to grow, and grow strong.

One day I learned what hell meant. Out in the garden we can hell for potatoes, as in “we’re sweating out here helling for potatoes.” Hell is just “the ground”, or “the dirt.” It never was meant to be some fearful place of oppression or torment. So, my thoughts of “this is hell” was the only thing that kept me disturbed. And I lacked the knowledge, at the time, of how to climb up out of the grave (of the frustrating job) up the slippery walls of resistance and into freedom.

Eventually, as other factors contributed, I left the job.

Years later, during a time of fasting, those years of struggle came to mind, but with softness and thanksgiving, the resentment fading. Not only had I learned more about myself, but as a body builder strengthens muscles from lifting weights, I had grown emotional muscles, in fact “blooming“, from what I had perceived as resistance!

I distinctly remembered the day I had begun saying to myself (about my boss), “Thank you for helping me to make a better decision” – whenever I’d felt picked on or taken advantage of (to do more work). I couldn’t change whether or not I was picked on, but I could have changed my reaction to it! And it had always been my choice – whether I was willing or able to know it then or not – as to how much work I was willing to take on.

All the feelings I’d felt were solely based on my perception and may not have been entirely accurate, as one can never really see things from all sides anyway.

Looking back, I saw where I had resisted quite a few things during that time, which is probably why I felt harried and stressed. Oh, had I just learned to “go with the flow” sooner, I could have smiled and experienced joy.

I’ve learned, we didn’t come into this life for the struggle. Life will go on without us after we’re gone. Whether we leave a company, end a marriage, or die. Nothing’s static, everything changes.

Now? I’m learning to let go and breathe. Get more play into each day. My former superior might be happy to know that once in awhile, even if I’m troubleshooting something, I smile and “in – joy” doing whatever it is I’m attempting to do. I wish for you the same.

See ya on the flip-side dynamic good buddy.

Life’s a thrill, hang on and enjoy the ride!

What are your Limiting Beliefs?

What are your “limiting beliefs”?

Limiting beliefs are thoughts you keep thinking, that probably sneak out in your speaking, that are your perceived limitations, and they limit you from moving forward in at least one area of life.

After a year of working on my limiting beliefs – the ones I had already admitted to myself – I happened to hear myself say, “Nobody listens to me” while discussing something with a coworker. Aha! I’d just caught a limiting belief! It’s something I say over and over again, and think even more! It IS a limiting belief and it’s not true! People do listen to me, even if they don’t – in the moment – express the hearing of my message, or acknowledge that what I’m saying may prompt them to action, or change.

I stopped right in the middle of the conversation and explained to my coworker that I had to jot down my “aha moment“.

Meditation has helped me become aware of my thoughts. Listening to myself, I can barely have a conversation anymore without really hearing what I say! Am I communicating my highest intention?

Aha moments are vitally important. I am always learning (from my own words) and love these type of profound teachable moments, which add serenity to my life!

I am an empath, so I must always be observant of my thoughts to know whether I’m taking on someone else’s stuff, or whether indeed, my thoughts and feelings are my own.

Now I know that anytime I start to go down the thought path of “nobody listens to me”, I can change it to “everybody listens to me”, or “everybody hears me”.

I’ll try that and see how other things change in my life. Now that’s a limiting belief worth sharing.

What a Feeling!

I must say, today has been a ridiculously aWEsOMe day! I’ve just been published, a second time! The book launched on Amazon.com with amazing success… by this evening, yes the end of the first full day – the book “The Energy of Receiving” reached #3 in the Self-Help category, AND #1 in the Self-Help, Spiritual category!!! I, along with my publisher, and the other 16 authors (18 total) who co-created this book are THRILLED!!!

I’m reading my copy of the book and posting a review on Amazon about it SOON!

Also, my husband and I will be participating in the Awakening Into the Sun weekend festival in St. Petersburg March 7th and 8th 2015, and we’ll have a booth where I’ll be selling, and signing copies of the book. I will have 20 paperback copies for sale so, if you want a signed copy, come on out!

As an empath, it will be interesting to see how much I feel during the event, and how many times I experience “God bumps”. I continue to note, when and where I feel God bumps, and it seems that it’s whenever I am talking about God, or spiritual (deep thought) topics, become familiar with someone’s pain (mental, emotional, or physical), or open a gateway (to unlimited possibility).

UPDATE: The festival was an aWEsOMe success! We enjoyed meeting many new people, reconnecting with friends, watching and listening to new musicians, and sharing with other like-minded, like-spirited folk! I will be blogging about many of our friends in the upcoming weeks and months, so stay tuned! 🙂

You can click below to check out my latest book and buy, if you’re so inclined (and thank you). My chapter is called, “Be Open To Receive”. It’s about many lessons I’ve learned. Lessons to do with putting aside one’s judgments and making s-p-a-c-e to allow God, the Universe, the Law of Attraction, or whatever name you want to call the magical, mysterious LIMITLESS unseen force of Energy, to bring you all you’ve ever really needed, at just the right time.

Click to view the book, “The Energy of Receiving” by Happiness Publishing on Amazon.

You can also now visit my author page on Amazon –>> Click Here!

On the eve of our 10th wedding anniversary, my husband and I really have a lot to be thankful for, and celebrate.

UPDATE: Check out the press release for the book –>> Click Here!

Much love to our family and friends. With heart-felt thanks, Thank You All.

We Are All Connected.