Do you feel as though you are reaching the end of your rope? Please read this first!

Originally published on EXAMINER June 5, 2016.

If you feel as though you might be reaching the end of your rope, please reach out to someone! Do not give up hope! Don’t end it all. It might feel hopeless to you in this moment, but please talk with someone — anyone! Maybe, consider talking with someone new!

I once worked with a young lady who committed suicide. I didn’t know her. One morning, after my meditation, a thought dropped into my mind. How sad was it that she ended her life and had never even had one conversation with everyone in our office! Sure, I had seen her around the office. She had even worked with someone sitting right next to me once. I’d passed her in the hall. I’d said hello to her while washing our hands in the ladies room. But, we had never had one conversation. And we had worked for the same company for more than two years.

I understand being an introvert. I am naturally introverted. But if you are going to make a conscious choice to end your life, which to me, would require a great deal of courage, wouldn’t you at least work up a little bit of that courage to talk with every person in your office, your neighbors, or someone walking down the street, FIRST?

What I am really suggesting is that there are untold opportunities to learn something new, experience a new way of looking at your problems, or perhaps, even a new way of living! Why would you want to end it all before even exploring any of those possibilities?

Somewhere, someone cares about you. And even if in this moment you can’t believe that could be true, YOU should care about you. Make a list, even if it’s just a mental list, of all of the things in your life that up to this point you’ve accomplished. Did you successfully get through elementary school, high school, college? Have you ever worked a job? Cared for a pet? Cared for a parent or a child? Have you ever told a joke, or made someone smile? If you could do any of those things, you can hold on for one more day. Give someone new a chance to show you life is worth living!

Tomorrow is another day. No man, woman, thing, or circumstance is worth ending your journey on this beautiful planet. Don’t take your own life!

You have choices!

Let’s say you’re in a narcissistic relationship. Perhaps even YOU might feel as though you are the narcissist.

You are worthy! Everyone is worthy of life!

Here are some links to direct you to my dear friend of mine, Beverly Banov Brown — who specializes in narcissistic relationship counseling.

Narcissistic relationships

Let’s say you’re depressed. And I know depression hurts. In this kind of situation, it kills.

Because I admit, you may be reading this from a very different mindset than the mindset that I wrote it, I will quote a dear friend of mine (who sent the following to me after she read the first publishing of this article). She wrote,

There is a difference between being depressed from the daily stresses of life and being clinically depressed. Unfortunately, when people suffer from clinical depression there is no space in their being to reach out to do the things you’ve suggested. There is no room in their chest for breath, no light in their heart to feel love from partners and family members. No energy for walks, only pain and it hurts to be alive. It’s a very dark place to live and one that is incredibly difficult to climb out of. In these situations, it is more helpful for a family member/loved one to be of service. Trying to “pick someone up” by being overly happy and energetic is misguided and a slap in the face to those who are suffering. Just sitting in silence and holding the space for their pain lessens the burden and creates an opening for dialogue. Try not to want to “fix” the person as they are not broken. In fact, they are very much alive and feeling the rawness of life itself. Lean into their pain and hold them as they tell you how dark it is. By sharing this space, it literally opens up new possibilities for a breath to be taken. It takes time and patience but each new breath will breathe life into the dark corners. Clinical depression is a life long battle and one that must be honored on a daily basis. Treat it as a friend, become intimate with it’s warning signs. Often times the person struggling with depression will feel a bout of it coming on. If caught before it has fully engaged the person’s mind, body and soul…then it is much easier to do the things that you’ve mentioned in your well written article. Thank you for addressing such an important issue. It needs to be talked about often and openly as so many of us suffer from this. Much of my life’s work will be directed toward people who struggle with depression and/or addiction.

In health and wellness, blessings to you.

My friend Robin poured this out to me from her wonderful open and loving heart. And from her experiential knowing of depression.

So, I am not a mental health counselor, nor did I originally write this article about those who are experiencing clinical depression per se. I am attempting though, to help you stop, breathe, or refocus–even if only in the smallest way–to give yourself a bit of hope and potentially the time to reach out to someone — anyone. I know suicide is a very complex and complicated subject, but I feel compelled to start somewhere after losing a beautiful young coworker.

After sharing the previous paragraph back to my friend, she wrote,

I hear you Sheila and am grateful that you are willing to write about this. My heart goes out to you and the loss that you experienced. Suicide is about clinical depression, the darkest and toughest depression to battle. My father took his own life one Sunday morning when I was 9 years old. He was bipolar with clinical depression on top of that. Those of us with parents that suffered from some form of mental illness, are oftentimes genetically predisposed to similar traits. My own battle with depression has led me into the belly of the beast. It’s a very scary experience for those who are standing in the fire. My advice to those who have loved ones that are going through this is to find them some immediate help. Waiting for a shift in their emotions is often a death sentence when truly at the bottom. You are a kind and loving person, I salute you for taking this subject on!

Yes, this subject is near and dear to me on many levels. The day that he took his life was the beginning of a very long journey for me. One that would take me decades to unravel. I have enormous empathy and compassion for human suffering. As long as we carry a body, we all suffer in different ways. Making yourself available to others with clear boundaries in place is a noble effort and one that is very much needed in this world! The one thing that I’m clear about…we are here to love and to help each other find our way home again.

So, I offer this updated article, that not only brings my thoughts, but those of my dear and beautiful friend to you in hopes that any of our words will help you in some way. I thank my friend for sharing her experience with us all, more than words can express! Much love! Hugs to you my dear heart!

Reach out to someone for help. And there are many people available to help you! There is always hope and grace, somewhere.

You can call Silent Unity for prayer, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week at: 800-669-7729

There is no need you can have which is so trivial, no pain you can experience so great, that breath, prayer, and meditation cannot soothe.

Prayer has been the heart of Unity for more than a century. It’s a ministry available to serve anyone, no matter your faith, 24-hours-a-day, 7 days-a-week. You can write or call about any need, day or night, and a loving being will pray with you. We know you need someone who will listen to you and pray with you. All requests for prayer are confidential and treated with reverence.

Write to Silent Unity at:
1901 Blue Parkway,
Unity Village, Mo. 64065-0001

or call: (816) 969-2000

If you have no means to pay for the call dial:
(800) 669-7729

or you can always go online to: www.silentunity.org

Breath is always free. Focus on your breathing for awhile.

Go for a walk outside. See if you meet anyone along the way. Smile. Feel like you can’t? Try it anyway. One step at a time.

Sometimes we inherit (we “in hear” it; hear within) problems from our parent’s, relatives, or guardian’s — their argumentative or toxic relationships do not have to influence us though!

Sometimes we think we’ve made bad choices and cannot undo them. Think again.

If you are in a toxic relationship, consider if you care too much. Or perhaps you are an empath, always trying to help someone else. Now you’re drained of energy. Now you think there is no hope. But even false hope, is hope.

If you are an empath, know that empaths can naturally lean toward attracting narcissists. If you find that you’ve been trying to resolve someone else’s problems, and it’s all taking a toll on you, you need support! Only in movies are narcissists cured. Narcissists do not love themselves. And they can be very dangerous. Talk with someone who has the resources to help you.

The movie Moonstruck provides a glimpse into narcissism when Johnny’s mother is “dying everyday”. Some people go around claiming that they’re “dying everyday” for 20 years! In Moonstruck, Johnny’s mother manipulates the entire family. That character did not know “how to love”.

Go to YouTube and watch uplifting and informative videos, like the the ones presented by our good friend and life coach, Beverly Banov Brown.

If you are being mistreated or abused, consider this thought: People in pain cause other people pain. No one deserves to be bullied or abused. You do not deserve whatever negative thing someone is doing to you.

Some things to try in order to begin to feel hope and grace:

  • Put your hand on your heart and tell yourself that you love “you”. Say it again and again. Feel your heart beat. Relish in knowing it will beat for you even without you directing it to do so. Bless your heart.
  • Allow yourself to feel your pain, then as you exhale, allow a bit of it to leave your body. If someone wants to listen to your while you vent about what’s going on in your life, let them. Allow someone in.
  • Put your hands together when you pray. Don’t believe in prayer? Put your hands together and sit quietly. Ask for nothing. Just sit and breathe. Breathe deeply. Give yourself permission to cry, or laugh, or scream!
  • Scream! Afraid someone will hear you? Hope they hear you! You do not have to get through your situation alone.

What new and positive choices, are available to you now?

Life is for the living, go take a chance and live!

We understand that if you have been diagnosed by a medical professional as someone in clinical depression, you need professional help. This article is not intended to replace qualified licensed professional medical advice. This article is provided for educational purposes only and is not intended to replace discussions with a healthcare provider. All decisions regarding your care must be made with a licensed professional healthcare provider, considering your unique characteristics and health history.

Depression can present a high risk of suicide. Anyone thinking of suicidal thoughts should be taken very seriously. Do not hesitate to call your local suicide hotline immediately. Call 800-SUICIDE (800-784-2433) or 800-273-TALK (800-273-8255) or the deaf hotline at 800-799-4889.

Ye who have ears, let them hear.

Blessings to you in ALL ways.

Amen. Namaste. OM

What happened after attending “Your Sensitivity Is Your Power” teleseries

Just before the New Year, I had the immense pleasure of doing a bit of “pre-paving” my future by attending Dr. Alison J. Kay’s, “Your Sensitivity Is Your Power” tele-call series, and wowee!!

So, what happened after I attended the tele-call series?

I gained a clarity of my own personal power. Almost like I was stepping up a staircase of emotional well-being and balance! Yes, I accepted an invitation from the Universe to step up my personal power by being on these calls, and I’m the better for it!

As a sensitive type of person–in my life having been known as one to cry easily, become overly concerned with other people’s dramas, or get easily overwhelmed, I noticed each day after the tele-call experience, I felt lighter, happier, and less concerned with other people’s “stuff” going on around me!

Sometimes, I tend to feel as though I am carrying the burden of other people so much, that I prefer not to interact with others at all. Much of those feelings lifted after the tele-call series for me, and continue to lift as time goes on.

People used to tell me they knew I was naturally empathic. Dr. Kay explained empaths and their traits in great detail during the tele-call series. She let us know how each of us could use our gift of empathy to give us more ease and comfort day-to-day. We learned how to use our sensitive side without losing our sense of self.

After each tele-call, I began to practice any/all of the following each day–whenever any difficult situation or conversation would occur:

  • Mentally ask myself,Is this mine?” And, if I knew it was NOT my problem, then I would mentally state, “Return to sender with grace, ease, and love attached, or I would simply state, “Send ’em love” (learned previously, but not practiced much) to really feel the vibrations emanating from my heart (the invisible intelligence Dr. Wayne Dyer used to speak of) going out to the person, lifting my feelings about whatever was going on.
  • Breathereally breathe, even take an extra walk as needed, climb stairs, stretch, or meditate. Then at my office desk, self soothe with my Young Living essential oils, Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT), Jin Shin Jyutsu (JSJ), and/or Yamuna Body Rolling — using one ball behind my back and/or putting my bare feet on the foot wakers under my desk. (This has also has enabled me to share these modalities with others when they would ask what I was doing–Yay!)
  • Distance myself when my inner being tells me, re-soundly, that right NOW (in THIS moment), this person or place is not good for me (or I am not good for others in this space). I honor, respect, and love myself enough, to walk away and go to another place where I can feel good!
  • Set boundaries. I can choose whether–whatever is happing in this moment–conflicts with what I’ve previously written about (to “Be open to receive”) and to know that I am allowed also, to receive or not. Must I receive all and filter? Must I receive bad to receive good? Maybe. But, I have the power to choose that for myself.
  • Expand my energy – Each morning include in my meditation to go into my awareness and expand it outward to my family, my circle of influence, neighbors, local community, state, region, country, continent, and world. Celebrate the knowing of others via Twitter, Facebook, my blogs, etc. whom live in other countries. Celebrate this knowing of WE ARE ALL CONNECTED. This is true.
  • Empower myself. Indeed, put my cape on! 😉 Be my authentic self. Act on the truth that my inner being resonates with, i.e. when I feel my “God bumps”. I even signed up for Dr. Michael Bernard Beckwith’s Life Visioning class, no doubt because of how powerful I felt after completing Dr. Kay’s tele-call series! How does it get any better than this? Yay! And later, I signed up for Yamuna classes (see this Examiner article I wrote) to learn about “Body Rolling”.
  • Though I know, I don’t act like it. It is never necessary to be the victim. I am not trapped. I always have a choice. I break any DNA, biological, mental, or spiritual chains that could have come through my lineage and blood. In the name of our Limitless, Ever-Living, Omniscient, Omnipresent, Omnipotent, Pulsating, Be-ing, Creator Source God who IS the Energy that holds the Universe together. Beyond what we can see. Beyond what we now know. Faith IS the substance of things not yet seen.

Empaths have our own level of sensitivity, level of awareness, unique energetic healing modalities, and spiritual gifts to share with the world! I am ready to share mine!

The tele-call sessions with Dr. Alison J Kay and her empowering messages and clearings, transformed past (even something that happened a moment ago is “the past”) shame of negative actions–allowing me to consciously “let go” of negative limiting thoughts, acknowledging that forgiveness is a daily process. I knew the pain I felt in my body were the cells of my body (scientist Candace Pert proved cells hold memories) calling out for me to transcend and know that really everything IS okay!

Dr. Kay’s clearings tuned me in and provided me with different verbiage to explain to myself, and to you in this post, what had been happening. Healing is an ongoing PROCESS!

Everyday life causes certain connections to occur:

  • The neighbor who may or may not smile at me when I step outside. That person doesn’t know me.
  • The store clerk that serves me may ask, “Did you find everything okay?” without really meaning it.
  • The restaurant owner’s son, who while ignoring us, scolded an employee (the employee was actually attempting to seat us) for not following proper procedures. He didn’t realize they would lose a customer by behaving that way in front of us, instead of just seating us–they could train their staff in private later!
  • The soldier (police, firefighter, teacher, or other public servant) who is just “doing their job” without considering the moral choices he or she actually has.

Many of us abdicate our ability to choose and lose a moment (or more) of happiness and joy for  ourselves and others. And we can help others – we really can! If we’re in better shape emotionally, mentally, and physically, we can change the world! And why is that important? Because We Are All Connected!

The energies and what I learned during Dr. Alison J. Kay’s tele-call series for sensitives continues to free me. The time spent on her calls FELT sooo good, not just for a short time, but weeks later.

About Dr. Alison J. Kay: Meditation and yoga teacher Dr. Alison J. Kay, offers weekly group telephone calls, online video-conferencing (Google Hangout), and private sessions where you can learn about meditation techniques. She teaches yoga classes too! Her group fitness classes include: yoga, mind-body, and core-strengthening.

Dr. Alison J. Kay studied in the east, Asia and India and thoroughly knows and understands the basis of the placebo effect (using several modalities, including meditation) and it’s relationship basis of subtle energy.

Learn more about Dr. Kay here –>> Alison J. Kay (Healer, author, yoga and meditation teacher, QiGong instructor, and coach)

The tele-call  series gave me hope for all of us to continue on our journey, learning and growing every day. To me, there is no such thing as “false hope”. Hope is hope. Because FAITH is the SUBSTANCE of things not yet seen.

I invite you to continue opening your mind to learning about something new in 2016 and beyond. You are never to old to be open to receive new and helpful information.

Be ye blessed in ALL ways.