Do you feel as though you are reaching the end of your rope? Please read this first!

Originally published on EXAMINER June 5, 2016.

If you feel as though you might be reaching the end of your rope, please reach out to someone! Do not give up hope! Don’t end it all. It might feel hopeless to you in this moment, but please talk with someone — anyone! Maybe, consider talking with someone new!

I once worked with a young lady who committed suicide. I didn’t know her. One morning, after my meditation, a thought dropped into my mind. How sad was it that she ended her life and had never even had one conversation with everyone in our office! Sure, I had seen her around the office. She had even worked with someone sitting right next to me once. I’d passed her in the hall. I’d said hello to her while washing our hands in the ladies room. But, we had never had one conversation. And we had worked for the same company for more than two years.

I understand being an introvert. I am naturally introverted. But if you are going to make a conscious choice to end your life, which to me, would require a great deal of courage, wouldn’t you at least work up a little bit of that courage to talk with every person in your office, your neighbors, or someone walking down the street, FIRST?

What I am really suggesting is that there are untold opportunities to learn something new, experience a new way of looking at your problems, or perhaps, even a new way of living! Why would you want to end it all before even exploring any of those possibilities?

Somewhere, someone cares about you. And even if in this moment you can’t believe that could be true, YOU should care about you. Make a list, even if it’s just a mental list, of all of the things in your life that up to this point you’ve accomplished. Did you successfully get through elementary school, high school, college? Have you ever worked a job? Cared for a pet? Cared for a parent or a child? Have you ever told a joke, or made someone smile? If you could do any of those things, you can hold on for one more day. Give someone new a chance to show you life is worth living!

Tomorrow is another day. No man, woman, thing, or circumstance is worth ending your journey on this beautiful planet. Don’t take your own life!

You have choices!

Let’s say you’re in a narcissistic relationship. Perhaps even YOU might feel as though you are the narcissist.

You are worthy! Everyone is worthy of life!

Here are some links to direct you to my dear friend of mine, Beverly Banov Brown — who specializes in narcissistic relationship counseling.

Narcissistic relationships

Let’s say you’re depressed. And I know depression hurts. In this kind of situation, it kills.

Because I admit, you may be reading this from a very different mindset than the mindset that I wrote it, I will quote a dear friend of mine (who sent the following to me after she read the first publishing of this article). She wrote,

There is a difference between being depressed from the daily stresses of life and being clinically depressed. Unfortunately, when people suffer from clinical depression there is no space in their being to reach out to do the things you’ve suggested. There is no room in their chest for breath, no light in their heart to feel love from partners and family members. No energy for walks, only pain and it hurts to be alive. It’s a very dark place to live and one that is incredibly difficult to climb out of. In these situations, it is more helpful for a family member/loved one to be of service. Trying to “pick someone up” by being overly happy and energetic is misguided and a slap in the face to those who are suffering. Just sitting in silence and holding the space for their pain lessens the burden and creates an opening for dialogue. Try not to want to “fix” the person as they are not broken. In fact, they are very much alive and feeling the rawness of life itself. Lean into their pain and hold them as they tell you how dark it is. By sharing this space, it literally opens up new possibilities for a breath to be taken. It takes time and patience but each new breath will breathe life into the dark corners. Clinical depression is a life long battle and one that must be honored on a daily basis. Treat it as a friend, become intimate with it’s warning signs. Often times the person struggling with depression will feel a bout of it coming on. If caught before it has fully engaged the person’s mind, body and soul…then it is much easier to do the things that you’ve mentioned in your well written article. Thank you for addressing such an important issue. It needs to be talked about often and openly as so many of us suffer from this. Much of my life’s work will be directed toward people who struggle with depression and/or addiction.

In health and wellness, blessings to you.

My friend Robin poured this out to me from her wonderful open and loving heart. And from her experiential knowing of depression.

So, I am not a mental health counselor, nor did I originally write this article about those who are experiencing clinical depression per se. I am attempting though, to help you stop, breathe, or refocus–even if only in the smallest way–to give yourself a bit of hope and potentially the time to reach out to someone — anyone. I know suicide is a very complex and complicated subject, but I feel compelled to start somewhere after losing a beautiful young coworker.

After sharing the previous paragraph back to my friend, she wrote,

I hear you Sheila and am grateful that you are willing to write about this. My heart goes out to you and the loss that you experienced. Suicide is about clinical depression, the darkest and toughest depression to battle. My father took his own life one Sunday morning when I was 9 years old. He was bipolar with clinical depression on top of that. Those of us with parents that suffered from some form of mental illness, are oftentimes genetically predisposed to similar traits. My own battle with depression has led me into the belly of the beast. It’s a very scary experience for those who are standing in the fire. My advice to those who have loved ones that are going through this is to find them some immediate help. Waiting for a shift in their emotions is often a death sentence when truly at the bottom. You are a kind and loving person, I salute you for taking this subject on!

Yes, this subject is near and dear to me on many levels. The day that he took his life was the beginning of a very long journey for me. One that would take me decades to unravel. I have enormous empathy and compassion for human suffering. As long as we carry a body, we all suffer in different ways. Making yourself available to others with clear boundaries in place is a noble effort and one that is very much needed in this world! The one thing that I’m clear about…we are here to love and to help each other find our way home again.

So, I offer this updated article, that not only brings my thoughts, but those of my dear and beautiful friend to you in hopes that any of our words will help you in some way. I thank my friend for sharing her experience with us all, more than words can express! Much love! Hugs to you my dear heart!

Reach out to someone for help. And there are many people available to help you! There is always hope and grace, somewhere.

You can call Silent Unity for prayer, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week at: 800-669-7729

There is no need you can have which is so trivial, no pain you can experience so great, that breath, prayer, and meditation cannot soothe.

Prayer has been the heart of Unity for more than a century. It’s a ministry available to serve anyone, no matter your faith, 24-hours-a-day, 7 days-a-week. You can write or call about any need, day or night, and a loving being will pray with you. We know you need someone who will listen to you and pray with you. All requests for prayer are confidential and treated with reverence.

Write to Silent Unity at:
1901 Blue Parkway,
Unity Village, Mo. 64065-0001

or call: (816) 969-2000

If you have no means to pay for the call dial:
(800) 669-7729

or you can always go online to: www.silentunity.org

Breath is always free. Focus on your breathing for awhile.

Go for a walk outside. See if you meet anyone along the way. Smile. Feel like you can’t? Try it anyway. One step at a time.

Sometimes we inherit (we “in hear” it; hear within) problems from our parent’s, relatives, or guardian’s — their argumentative or toxic relationships do not have to influence us though!

Sometimes we think we’ve made bad choices and cannot undo them. Think again.

If you are in a toxic relationship, consider if you care too much. Or perhaps you are an empath, always trying to help someone else. Now you’re drained of energy. Now you think there is no hope. But even false hope, is hope.

If you are an empath, know that empaths can naturally lean toward attracting narcissists. If you find that you’ve been trying to resolve someone else’s problems, and it’s all taking a toll on you, you need support! Only in movies are narcissists cured. Narcissists do not love themselves. And they can be very dangerous. Talk with someone who has the resources to help you.

The movie Moonstruck provides a glimpse into narcissism when Johnny’s mother is “dying everyday”. Some people go around claiming that they’re “dying everyday” for 20 years! In Moonstruck, Johnny’s mother manipulates the entire family. That character did not know “how to love”.

Go to YouTube and watch uplifting and informative videos, like the the ones presented by our good friend and life coach, Beverly Banov Brown.

If you are being mistreated or abused, consider this thought: People in pain cause other people pain. No one deserves to be bullied or abused. You do not deserve whatever negative thing someone is doing to you.

Some things to try in order to begin to feel hope and grace:

  • Put your hand on your heart and tell yourself that you love “you”. Say it again and again. Feel your heart beat. Relish in knowing it will beat for you even without you directing it to do so. Bless your heart.
  • Allow yourself to feel your pain, then as you exhale, allow a bit of it to leave your body. If someone wants to listen to your while you vent about what’s going on in your life, let them. Allow someone in.
  • Put your hands together when you pray. Don’t believe in prayer? Put your hands together and sit quietly. Ask for nothing. Just sit and breathe. Breathe deeply. Give yourself permission to cry, or laugh, or scream!
  • Scream! Afraid someone will hear you? Hope they hear you! You do not have to get through your situation alone.

What new and positive choices, are available to you now?

Life is for the living, go take a chance and live!

We understand that if you have been diagnosed by a medical professional as someone in clinical depression, you need professional help. This article is not intended to replace qualified licensed professional medical advice. This article is provided for educational purposes only and is not intended to replace discussions with a healthcare provider. All decisions regarding your care must be made with a licensed professional healthcare provider, considering your unique characteristics and health history.

Depression can present a high risk of suicide. Anyone thinking of suicidal thoughts should be taken very seriously. Do not hesitate to call your local suicide hotline immediately. Call 800-SUICIDE (800-784-2433) or 800-273-TALK (800-273-8255) or the deaf hotline at 800-799-4889.

Ye who have ears, let them hear.

Blessings to you in ALL ways.

Amen. Namaste. OM

Why do I censor or limit myself? God is. Just Be.

My previous post was about living a joyous life in balance. Ah, bliss. And it should be so easy, right? Eh, well not exactly.

People limit themselves everyday. We fuss, nag, find fault, argue, criticize, and blah, blah, blah… So, why do I censor or limit myself in conversations? Isn’t it obvious?

I limit my words, uh many times even my thoughts, because someone was critical of me in the past. Maybe a parent, teacher, coach, boss, or authority figure – that is unimportant. It doesn’t matter whom. The point is – we humans like to limit things. We like to label things. People will tell you, “don’t worry or care what people think”… but then mysteriously those same folks – usually within the same conversation – will say something that carries the essence of, “be careful, don’t say too much, don’t tell him or her this or that.”

I give you this fact. Many people have good intentions. They want to protect you somehow. Protect you from saying too much so you won’t get into trouble. Hmm. But isn’t that their problem?

Censoring myself, limits me and puts me in a state flux vibrationally. I get nervous. I get flustered. My face may even get red. I end up with a mindful of clutter! All I can ever truly be – is myself. Like me or not. Care or not. I make mistakes, I learn, I fall, I get up, I cry, I love, I give, I receive. I am vulnerable. I am not superwoman – and I don’t really think anyone else is superman or superwoman either.

UPDATE: Want to feel empowered? Get your cape on!

If I, having noble purpose, believe I have something to share, begin to open my mouth but then my mind jumps to thoughts like, “Oh, they don’t want to know, they don’t care” that’s enough to stop me dead in my tracks. Why? Because no one wants to be judged or condemned. We all want to be liked! If we didn’t want people to like us, we’d never go out, we’d never join with others in any social situation. We’d sit alone day! Ha! But then a strange thing would happen. The ones we thought would judge us would be the very ones who would say, “come on, get out and be a joiner”! Do you get the irony in this?

So really, you can’t get it wrong. Just be. Be yourself. Without limitations.

Even my feeble attempt to list all the names (why must humans LABEL everything?) that humans ascribe to the LIMITLESS Filling-All-Space Creator I honor causes me to scratch my head, analyze, and scrutinize. How do I order this list? Ugh! My mind goes to a place of judgement… I know someone won’t like that I’m including names of: Mother Father, Allah, Buddha, or Zen. All this judgment and it feels so heavy. But God is love, and I almost can’t think of any other all consuming love (at least not in my human form) better than a mother or father (or grandparent) can give to a child – so for me, calling God as Mother Father feels so good, so comforting, so forgiving, and so full of grace. Ohh I am so saved. So loved. I am not perfect but I am so very, wholly, LOVED!

All the various beliefs we hold, many are so personal, so deeply entrenched within us, that putting the names into the same article, or list, will be judged, labeled, and so on! Go on, that’s fine. You’re not perfect either! But you are worthy. You are loved. 😉 Obviously human beings cannot agree, most cannot even discuss these Holy names for God – there is no consensus and certainly there are multitudes of faiths, religions, and many, many wars have been fought, with untold millions of lives lost due to the very notion / belief that one of these names, carry more importance, than the others. But names are only words. Words must be defined to carry any meaning to anyone. Period. If I AM (right now in the present moment) aware of, consciously tuned in to:

God Creator Great Spirit Great Mystery Holy Spirit Holy Trinity Jehovah Jesus the Christ Lord YHWH Elohim Mother / Father Great Architect Supreme Deity Christ Consciousness Supreme Being Buddha Absolute Zen ALL-ONE Allah Source Ishvara Brahman Bodhisatva Infinite Intelligence All-that-IS-ness All-Knowing Divine Presence Energy I AM Alpha and Omega The Beginning and The End Omnipresence Omnipotent Immanence

Why, oh why, would I EVER limit myself??? There are NO limitations!!! Let us not lie to ourselves! There’s so much GOOD going on and I’m tuned in!

People are friendly. People smile. People are kind and do good things for each other.

I see beauty EVERYWHERE and everything is working together for our good! Everything occurs in perfect timing in accordance with the order of life, of God. We are all connected in so many direct and subtle ways. How can anyone deny it? We live in a field of INFINITE possibilities. Get over your lack mentality.

Resonate, vibrate, tune yourself to the POWER and knowledge YOU are who you are meant to be. Quit resisting! Resisting your true beautiful, whole, powerful nature is the same as putting a clamp on a water hose. Just let God’s love and power flow through you always. 😉

I am a spiritual being having an earthly experience and so are YOU! Be real with yourself. I love to help others awaken. I’ve got so much to share!

Bloom where you’re planted. I am! Since I love teaching, sharing, and writing – here’s my expression. Each post is a bloom on the flower of my life.

Click here for my other articles.

Jesus Christ of Nazareth came to enlighten us. He came to show us that we’re energy. He showed us how to live in the full awareness of how to live in our wellness and wholeness. Be it now.

To be something means, you are “being.” You are a human being. Being means vibration, pulsing, activating, acting as if, and exercising your faith! Jesus did not look upon illness or dis-ease, He saw us in our whole (Holy) state of being. Go to the scriptures and read the miracles again. Jesus healed a man who had been born blind. It is written Jesus put mud on the man’s eyes. Then you know what? Jesus instructed the man to go to the river and wash! The blind man was healed by putting his faith into action. Yes, “your faith has made you whole.”

If you need encouragement and upliftment today quietly say to yourself or out loud with boldness…

  • With every breath, God
  • With every heartbeat God
  • I am who and where God is
  • God is with me
  • I am never ever alone
  • Alone is a lie
  • Alone has been misrepresented
  • Alone has been ill-defined
  • I know God is with me
  • I align myself with Source

Then say with your most open heart: “Thank You” as a child says, thank you. God knows. For some beautiful worship check out: Rev. Michael Beckwith

My daily mission: to consistently and joyfully manage the contrast between things that frustrate me (like a pebble in my shoe), which cause me to ask for improvements in my spiritual yet earthbound experience, and reach for better feeling thoughts, keeping my body at ease, allowing myself to receive the divine blessings God has in store for me. In other words: To be joyfully aware of LIMITLESS Filling-All-Space Creator in every present moment. To me, this is the sum total of living a blessed, blissful, joyous, and happy life – everyday no matter what the circumstances.

Always remember we walk by faith. Be conscious every present moment. We walk in the light and are never alone. We are all connected.

Ease, peace, calm, love, light, joy, bliss, namaste, and, and…