Then POOF and it’s gone

Sometimes I wake up at 3am and lay awake in bed for an hour or more, hoping to go back to sleep, but my mind starts to drift. Sometimes I get up and quietly write something on the computer (for my blog, or the book I’ve been writing over the last ten years). Sometimes I meditate, pray, cry, and then meditate some more. Other times I go on a crystal journey (meditating with one or more special crystals near or on my body), which nearly every time takes me on an inward path where I find the gentle solace of a holy place.

Spiral Energy by Sheila Murrey

My grandfather used to say, “Stop and smell the roses.” Somehow, I feel when I wake up in the middle of the night, it’s because I didn’t take that time to smell the roses that day, or if I did, now I’m caught up in the mystery of it all. Had I been as fully aware as I could be, that the moment I was smelling the rose, I was standing in the presence of something timeless? Grace washing over me? My thoughts become almost tangible and palpable. As I lay there in bed, my heart becomes so open that I think it will leave my body! My huge open heart resonates with a feeling of connection with all.

I believe everything happens for a reason. I cry about things that cannot be changed, about which I feel guilty, or ashamed. Gradually, I let those thoughts go. I remember good times. I remember the friends and family who have transitioned. I miss them. I cry some more. Then, oddly, I begin very slowly, almost like a train steadily slowing as it arrives at a station, to breathe, and allow myself just to psychically embrace each of them. I remember each persons face, what it felt like to be near them, perhaps as we were going somewhere, dancing, talking, or such. I send them my love. I tell them, “Though I miss you fiercely, I know you are in perfect health, wonderful peace, and like the molecules of air around and IN me, you are still near me. And I love you. Thank you. Thank you ever so much dear heart for ALL you gave me. For helping me be who I am NOW.”

Sometimes after a stretch of time, I fall back to sleep. Other times, I write for hours before deciding it’s time to shower and get ready to prepare for my day.

There have been times that the connection I feel to my friends and loved ones, during these middle of the night mental sojourns are so strong, they seem vividly real. But, more often than not, the “visit” is faint, and dissipates into a near whisper. I am imagining, right? I mean, just because it feels real, it cannot be so. Or can it? As I do not limit God, perhaps there is a way to connect and spend time with my loved ones–and I am not only referring to those who have passed on, but even with those who are not living physically near me.

I don’t pretend to know what fills empty space, though the new frontiers of science is finding that what they used to think was empty space, is actually “filled” with “something”–though they do not yet know what. Could that mean that my mystical musings in the middle of the night are when I mysteriously meander through a holy place? It certainly does feel like it’s a sanctuary for me.

I’ve learned that when I move too quickly through a day, too caught in all of the “doing”, that I can easily walk by people, places, and things, unaware of the blessings or hidden messages that they might provide. Have I “walked by” people, places, or things, too preoccupied to notice the richness, the magnificence, or the subtle profound vibrations each offer me?

Realizing that I can always STOP, and consciously choose to pay attention to even the smallest of things, my heart dances with joy! I am open!

I actively seek. And I know when we honestly seek, eventually, we will find. I do not need a crown of jewels when I get to Heaven (whatever do people expect to do with those anyway?) but instead, I’d rather trade anxieties for peaceful moments, sadness, feelings of loss, or thoughts of missing those I love most, into balanced emotions, joy, and dare I say, pure bliss NOW–while I’m alive! Isn’t that the true definition of having good mental health?

I go back again and again in my mind to my grandfather’s mantra. Regardless of the season, weather or time of day, I don’t want to miss the roses. When I leave this place, my spirit, mind, and body will have lived fully, changed much, and heartily, truthfully, given as deeply as I knew how–to those who received me.

I speak a mindful thought to someone. Then POOF! And it’s gone.

I would love to introduce you to the Resonance Academy! If you’re interested in Frequency, science, or just how everything is connected in the Universe, I think you’ll want to join the academy with me! Ready, set, click here!

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Could a good rest help to ease your troubled mind?

I write a lot about spiritual things in this blog, but mostly because I understand the profound impact your spiritual understanding has on your mind and overall state of well-being.

Would you like to stroll on the subjective side of this topic for a few minutes with me while I offer a potential solution to your mental unrest?

Journey into a realm where rest and ease can calm your troubled mind…

Breathe…

Being healthy and well (or what most people call ‘wellness’) is not only how one feels physically in their body, but includes the state of one’s mind, or mental health. Mind-body, or holistic health includes things that help us relax (mind and body), release pent up tension, laugh, restore ease, increase our feeling of worthiness and belonging, improve our physical flexibility and stamina, and bring balance back to the body.

Your head is attached to your body, and IF your head is where your mind is (as most believe), your mental state can influence how our body feels. How can traditional western medicine (allopathic medicine) only treat your head, without understanding its relationship to the body? It seems to me, and to many others whom I converse with on the subject, that we need to take time for ourselves and learn ways to ease our mind, beyond the escape of merely sleeping away our concerns.

Conversely, perhaps mania and depression are triggered by inflammation in the body? Or by environmental factors? Side effects from other medicines, substance abuse, food, or alcohol?

If you’re feeling the need to:

  • Get unstuck from the status quo
  • Learn tips that you can utilize in your day-to-day life to ease your mind
  • Rest and relax in a beautiful and tranquil environment
  • Eat delicious and nutritious organic food
  • Give yourself time and permission to reset your mental state
  • Go from feeling “blah” to brilliant

 

I’d like to introduce you to my friends Dayna Wood Ed.S, REAT & Jennifer Carey, Ed.S, LMHC.

Dayna and Jennifer have combined their knowledge and skills to offer a genuine opportunity that will incorporate creativity and mindfulness to integrate your heart, mind, body and spirit in a deep and unique way by facilitating a mind-body retreat. The retreat will offer each participant the time to ignite imagination, feel an amazing sense of connectedness, and rejuvenate their lives.

Check out the Press Release about the retreat here:

https://www.prlog.org/12564850-mind-body-health-retreat-offers-opportunity-to-inspire-imagination-rejuvenate-and-connect-lives.html

To learn more about the retreat and reserve your spot:

http://integrativecounsel.org/retreats/

Through the Looking Glass: An Imagination Retreat

October 13 – 16, 2016

Anna Maria Island, Florida

The retreat aims to rekindle participants’ passion for creative outlets such as yoga and music, refresh mind-body-spirit with mindfulness techniques and fortify your awareness that everything is connected.

The connection between physical and mental health is undeniable and this restorative retreat will strengthen your connection to all. An integrated, well-rounded experience is the desire for all participants so each can return home with a renewed sense of purpose and invigorated imagination.

To our better health and state of mind!

Take It Spiritually Upon Yourself

We Are All Connected

I research, experience, and share about many of the ways we’re Connected. And because we are All One, we can feel good, never lonely or in despair–as we are never alone.

Energy

Everything vibrates, and there is an underlying Energy behind, beside, above, and below all — in fact, holding everything together! Observe nature. There is an organization in the veins of a leaf, a snowflake, and the rhythm of the ocean waves. There exists an unseen Energy that is Limitless, Ever-Pulsating, Be-Ing, Filling-All-Space, and will never end.

Spirit

Most people refer to the beautiful and unending abundance of creation as God, Intelligent Design, Great Spirit, Divine, The All That Is, or Source. Indeed, the Bible refers to God as Omnipotent, Omnipresent, and Omniscient. There are quite possibly more names than you can think of for our Omni-everything Creator! This begs the question, if we can’t even settle on one name for our Creator, how could one religion or spiritual practice be the only way to worship or reconnect with Omniscience?

I write in depth about Energy, Analysis, Focus, and Intention. My blogs, books, tweets, and more offer a living philosophy you can use–in any moment–to be happy always, no matter the circumstance.

Passionate about Natural & Holistic Health and Wellness, Self-Transformation, Self-Help, Empowerment, Self-Analysis, Feeling Good, Unconditional Love, and Personal Responsibility — I live my beliefs by incorporating all things natural, simple, and green, into my daily experience.

I live a naturally simple, healthy, and vibrant life by personally using a variety of natural health and wellness products, eating right for my body by blood type (and as many organic foods as possible), along with implementing alternative health modalities as needed for mind and body rejuvenation.

Happiness

Stuff doesn’t make people happy. What makes people happy is having more time to do the things they enjoy–with the people they love. And I agree.

If you find someone consistently lets you down, or disappoints you–maybe you’re asking them to be someone they’re not. Sit quietly and ask yourself, “Am I happy here?”

It’s better to feel good than be right. You could lower your expectations of others. Everyone is usually just doing the best they can. And you always have a choice of where to be. So, put yourself in a good “happy” place inside, okay? When you’re happy inside, you can be happy almost anywhere. 😉

Many blessings! Namaste

Juicing, Paleo, No-Grain Diet, Mostly Vegetarian – Who needs labels?

Okay so I am finally ready to reveal my new diet. I have been doing this for several months now and it’s working. It’s really working. I have lost weight effortlessly. Gained vitality. Renewed my body Temple. And increased the frequency with which, I feel connected to Source Creator God, and all of you. We Are All Connected.

We Are All One. Yes, yes, and yahoo… YES!

Here’s the deal about diet for life (lifestyle) change:

I drink raw vegetable juice — everyday. At least one 16 ounce raw veggie juice, often 32 ounces. Plus water. Monday through Friday–I only juice during the day. And if I don’t have time to juice for myself, I buy juices from a raw vegan cafe; thank you Ionie’s Cafe! Ionie’s vacuum seal the juice in glass mason jars. I pack my juice in a ThirtyOne bag (with ice) and enjoy at work. Then, for the evening meal… I eat a light meal or soup for dinner. That’s it. If I feel the need to eat something, I will mix raw nuts and seeds, typically only a 1/2 cup or less and throw in my work bag. Mostly pumpkin and sunflower seeds, walnuts, pecans, almonds, and brazil nuts. I eat a bit more on the weekends, but nothing outrageous.

The weekday light meal? Primarily, a can of Amy’s Organic soup, or a salad with grilled or broiled fish. Now and then, I will have some other vegetable like broccoli, sweet potato, or asparagus, but rarely white potatoes. On occasion, I will get a beef patty (no bun), or a steak, but I suspect I will only do that once every two or three months. I have basically lost my desire to eat meat. I like turkey once in awhile too, but we always look for the less processed, organic variety when we buy it.

I am not eating any processed sugar — unless you count wine. I had some sugar over the holidays because my daughter makes (and ships) chocolate truffles from New Hampshire and I love supporting her, so I had a few of those (one a day, every other day). Yes I am attempting to be transparent here. This also keeps me humble and on track. I do not desire to cheat because that’s only cheating my Temple.

UPDATE 1/1/2016: No more truffles and a lot less wine.

I am learning that I am a cross between a raw vegan and a paleo or no-grain eater. I am not a 100% raw vegan because I do still consume eggs, honey, fish, seafood, and very little meat. But I put into daily practice much of what I learned from being a raw vegan back in 2009-2010. I love raw vegan nut cheese instead of dairy cheese. Whenever I eat dairy cheese I can always tell the difference. I’ve also learned that my body does not digest raw tomatoes very well.

As for my spiritual growth:

As for the spirituality aspects of clean eating… the other night a lady asked if I go to church. I answered a triumphant… No. But then I thought, why would I when I believe my body is the Temple. Yes, with a capital T. And I believe all of your bodies are Temples too. I believe in God-made, vs. Man-made. I will always. That is a core belief of mine. Hmmm. I just misspelled belief as belife. Isn’t that interesting? I corrected it but now I am thinking be-life is actually better!

I am finding that by fasting during the daytime on weekdays, it has heightened my spiritual awareness, including also a physical awareness of how much people around me EAT. The over consumption in America is disheartening. It’s not wonder so many of us are overweight and miserable. I highly suspect our bodies were never meant to be in this shape, and yes, round is a shape.

I am focused on learning more about energy medicine. By changing my focus from food: what to eat, how to make it, when to buy it, etc. I definitely have more time available for reading, sharing, and learning about energy, frequency, brain waves, intuition, etc. Case in point, this week I took my first Jin Shin Jyutsu class. I am amazed how how wonderful I feel! I feel good, really good.

I mean, I always feel pretty good. Can’t complain. But on occasion I’ve experienced vertigo (ever since working at the Space Center, which I felt may have had something to do with it). The vertigo would come and go. I felt that I had to be watchful when it came to doing any task that might set it off. Laying on a massage table for a massage, at times, could cause me to experience vertigo. Forget about head down yoga postures!

So, the other day after 30 minutes of Jin Shin Jyutsu – both of my ears “opened”! I was ecstatic! Now I can flip my head over to put a towel on my head after getting out of the shower! Yay! Yahoo!

About faith, timing, and living life more abundantly:

The Bible is full of stories about how God created us in His image and wants us to live life and have it more abundantly. To me, those understandings mean that He provides for us, in all ways, for our health, and for our needs. I think we’re the ones that think that means He will always answer our prayers and give us what we desire, but I do not think so. I believe our needs are always, in ALL WAYS, provided. But often God withholds some things, and some answers, for a later time for us, when we are prepared to handle those things. That is why I believe God’s timing is always perfect. And blessed assurance tells me that is why, when the student is ready, the teacher arrives.

Have faith. You know, faith – which is the opposite of worry. Faith IS the substance of things not yet seen. That said, worry is actually a sin because God tells us to have faith. Exercise your faith by taking care of yourself. The Bible also instructs us how to eat and move our bodies, but how many of us follow those instructions? I think it pleases God when we learn about those and practice those habits. Pork is not the other white meat. Pigs are dirty animals that have no sweat glands. Quit dishing on PETA people and take an honest look at what they have to say. Or talk to a pig farmer. Watch a documentary. Just don’t eat pork. Make it easy. Those parasites in pork, yeah they live through the cooking process. And really, the more crap you eat, the harder it will be for you to feel good. I’d bet it also shortens your life. And if you believe suicide is a sin then dying a slow death by eating stupid silly non-beneficial foods is a sin too.

Now, I am not preaching all this stuff to make you feel guilty. Just quit complaining about what other people do and think about what you do. Study to show thyself approved and make one small change at a time until you feel good. I am not above anyone. I am human and I fail. But God has been showing me some things. So, I am sharing what I learn in an effort to help you feel good. Nothing more. Be healthy. Live well.

Quit running to doctors and putting your faith into what amounts to be medical witchcraft (Yes look up the history, especially all of you who are so fast to point a finger at anyone who believes in another religion). Those big pharmaceutical companies you love so much are a cog in the wheel of the beast. They do NOTHING to cure anyone. They may prolong life but in what state? They do not cure. They ease suffering perhaps. They mask symptoms so you never DO anything to heal your Temple. In my estimation, they are the liars. They are the ones who are selling you false hope. I am tired of hearing people’s excuses why they need this or that drug from a chronic illness. Your lifestyle, mostly the food you’re eating, that’s what’s chronic. 

Go to the doctor if you break a bone, but for asthma, digestive issues, migraines, back aches, arthritis, inflammation, and more… seek alternative advice. I am not a doctor, nor do I prescribe any treatments or solutions. I am shaking you awake! Take It Upon Yourself to live your best, most vital life!

As for exercise, meditation, and Jin Shin Jyutsu:

Jin Shin Jyutsu is an energy medicine art that I have decided to focus on this year. I am learning (thanks to reader comments and friends), that it’s best to meditate, then perform Jin Shin Jyutsu, then do my daily stair climbing. That makes sense to me. But I am always trying to maximize what little spare time I have. I work full-time. So, I do the stair climbing when I need a break at work. Thankfully I am able to take a 10-15 minute break twice a day, and my stair climbing has improved so much that I can climb 8 flights safely, and return, within that time. Much less actually.

Exercise works the body, and meditation dedicates the mind. I will learn transcendental meditation (TM) at some point.

The pulsing, or vibration that I feel when I practice Jin Shin Jyutsu is simply amazing! I feel God bumps when I talk about it! I need nothing outside of myself to validate anything for me.

I am connected to my breath, I am enjoying all the self-care I have learned about this past year. I am excited and hopeful about the future. All really is well.

I have a second new book coming out in February, so stay tuned for more on that. The name of the book is, The Energy of Receiving by Happiness Publishing. My first book is doing well on Amazon. You can find it here –>> Transform Your Life, Book 2 Inspirational Stories and Expert Insights.

Living a blessed, blissful, and happy life in balance

To live a blessed, blissful, joyous, and happy life to me, means living life in balance, in the present moment aware (conscious) of God, Source, Holy Spirit, Energy, Creator, the Divine Presence.

Everyday life causes certain connections to occur. The neighbor who may or may not smile at me and say “good morning” while I am walking my dog first thing, before I’ve gotten ready for work, or maybe before I’ve even had my shower (if it’s on the weekend). The office clerk I may run into when I go to check our mail. The woman in the mad rush in traffic that cut me off and nearly caused an accident. The store cashier who takes, or accepts graciously, the money for purchases. The bag boy or girl who usually offers to help me out to the car with my purchases. The customer service agent who handled my issue perfectly or perhaps, being new on the job got so stressed out couldn’t think clearly to remember how to resolve the issue, leaving me on hold for what seemed like an eternity. The restaurant worker who makes a living serving others. The farmer who is under an immense responsibility to feed millions. The entrepreneur who works tirelessly to bring about the next big thing into our lives. The masterful health practitioner who cares more about helping, encouraging, and educating people on how to get and stay well, versus pushing pharmaceuticals. The television or movie producer who spent countless sleepless nights worrying if anyone would watch their show, only for it to impact millions in an emotional and positive way. The songwriter (like my husband) who longs for the world to hear the heart and care put into their words and music. The soldier (police, firefighter, teacher, or other public servant) who does the right thing to keep us safe, even if it means questioning authority.

We are all connected in so many direct and subtle ways. How can anyone deny it?

My work is not just what I do Monday through Friday each week to earn a paycheck. But it aids in my learning how things work. It often causes me to acknowledge consciously how energy works because I find many contrasts there! LOL

My main and utmost job though is to myself, my inner being, my true nature which is, to work on a spiritual and energetic level. To always focus as Spirit leads me, where I feel the bodily sensation of “God bumps” (thrill bumps, chills, tingles, ripple feelings). I have been becoming aware of when God bumps occur in me, so far it seems I feel these whenever I meet, have a conversation with, or sit in the presence of other beings who on the path of enlightenment. These God bumps are energy resonating within my body. Typically it brings me to the present moment, to be conscious of the fact that I am a spiritual being having an earthly experience.

I seek out (and visit again and again) the people and places, that cause me to feel “God bumps”. I believe I feel these God bumps because I am an empath. I really feel it when I make a soul connection with someone. I also blog (write) about it! Click here for my other articles.

I’ve always held a belief that no one is more worthy of: spiritual enlightenment, fame, huge salary, or any other so-called measure of success – than anyone else. More is going on. I’ve always felt some sort of injustice when I read of the huge salaries and bonuses some people receive, while many others are barely making ends meet. Do some people really work harder, smarter, than the rest of us. Clearly different classes of people have always existed through history. A few who live very well, while many thousands, even millions subsist.

Also, I have prayed for the upliftment of religious leaders who got caught up in scandalous activities. Not that everyone who is a spiritual leader or teacher is perfect, save one I know of, but I hold such leaders to a higher standard – and I think many of us feel that way.

Speaking of the perfect one? The Holy savior, Jesus Christ of Nazareth. My mother taught me of Jesus’ perfection as He was/is God made flesh. I am of the mind that God made Jesus to show us the true way of enlightenment – and how we are all energy.

Jesus did not look upon illness or dis-ease, He saw us in our whole (Holy) state of being. That is so when you study of His many miracles. He asked the lame to “take up thy bed and walk” because the man had to believe he could walk – before he walked! Jesus already knew he could because walking was within the man’s ability. Jesus healed the woman (or helped her to experience her healing) who merely touched His garment because she reached out to Him by faith. Remember the Holy scriptures say Jesus said, “your faith has made you whole”.

Jesus came to show us, teach us, of our inner holy state, (our divinity) – but sadly many people still do not “get it”. That is why He said, “many will come in My name but deny the power thereof”. Power = energy.

Energy separates us from the inanimate objects man creates. We cannot breath life / energy into anything we make. Our babies get their Spirit, energy, breath from God, Divine Source. God breathes and works through us and all living things.

We are all inherently worthy to have our needs met – even our desires. If one person can somehow manage to “earn” a billion dollars, then others must also be capable. If one person is able to feed millions, others must also be able. At least the possibility of attaining our desire is possible. This is why I believe we have a great responsibility. Not only to take care of ourselves so we can help others, but to acknowledge our connectedness. We can attain wonderful health. We can attain wealth – and wealth means different things to different people.

I know some will not receive this so well, because they believe some have more advantages, are stronger, more driven, or smarter than others. I believe all have the ability, even those who are told they have some sort of disability. We are only limited by our thoughts, our imagination. We are limited when we do not understand, do not know, that it’s all energy. We are energy. Every living thing on this planet has energy running through it.

Once at Disney I was asked “what is innovation”? At the time all I could think of was, it’s the entire scope, big picture – larger than any one invention. I wasn’t complete in my answer. Innovation is taking other things, and putting them together in new ways. We are innovations – energy building blocks put together in different ways, we look different and speak different languages, believe different things, but the common thread among us is the foundational component of ENERGY. So in this very magical way – we are all connected and able to help, sustain, and heal each other. We are called to recognize and honor this fundamental knowing.

The reason I love “laying on of hands”, and other healing energy work, is because it honors and places our Creator, Source, God as our supreme healer. I worship God when I pray or in other ways, work to assist others in the health and healing of their bodies. This is why my quest is to learn more about energy healing. Ever on the look out for how I can better assist.

I believe that is my true nature, my calling. Energy is fully functioning omnipresent and omniscient in our being and dis-ease is when we disconnect (for whatever reason) from it. With every breath, God. With every heartbeat God. Pray without ceasing. The best prayer you could ever say is: “Thank You”.

The most wonderful masterful healers I have discovered include (but are not limited to):

Joan Massey (Affordable Acupuncture, South Carolina)

Alison J. Kay (Healer, author, radio show host, coach)

Dr. Laurie Zakresky (Divine Books, Madeira Beach)

Dr. Bauduin at Madeira Beach Center for Natural Medicine

John of God (Lives and works in Brazil – connected through Crystal bed at First Unity Church, St. Petersburg)

My daily mission is: to consistently and joyfully manage the contrast between things that frustrate me, which cause me to ask for improvements in my spiritual yet earthbound experience, and reach for better feeling thoughts, keeping my body at ease, allowing myself to receive the divine blessings God has in store for me (which, Jesus came to show are our birthright).

In other words: To be joyfully aware of LIMITLESS Filling-All-Space Creator in every present moment.

To me, this is the sum total of living a blessed, blissful, joyous, and happy life – everyday no matter what the circumstances.

Always remember we walk by faith. Be conscious every present moment. We walk in the light and are never alone. We are all connected.

Namaste and love,

Sheila

Decision Making, Risk Taking, and Accepting Responsibility for Choices

Yes I know the title is long. I haven’t posted anything in my self analysis section in awhile because I’ve been busy. Went to Connecticut to visit my beautiful one year old granddaughter. Left a job. Began a new job. Got involved with “another” multi-level marketing (MLM) business. These sound like excuses don’t they? Maybe they are or maybe they’re valid reasons. In either case, it’s me, explaining myself to you. But why? I don’t owe anyone an explanation especially since this is my blog and I write for the love of writing. That’s the point – people tend to “explain” themselves to everyone all the time.

Explaining. We all do this to some degree or another – every day. We typically explain ourselves even to people who really aren’t all that important in our lives. What a waste of energy!

Do you know that when we explain our choices we drain ourselves of energy? Most of us “explainers” are strong “people-pleasers”. We often care more about what others think of us, than we think of ourselves. We do this out of a need to feel ACCEPTED.

We believe we can’t be happy (accept ourselves) unless a) we make others happy, or b) we need others to make us happy. And that’s simply not true. We can CHOOSE to BEHAPPY. All on our own. No one else needs to DO anything for us, nor do we need to do anything for anyone else.

What a concept!

Do you know where your true JOY comes from?

Being happy with yourself. Accept yourself. Be happy with your life – your journey. If you’re not happy perhaps you’ve made some wrong choices or put yourself in a situation you’d rather not be in. I say “wrong choices” only because ultimately your choices didn’t make you happy! But you learned life lessons. Perhaps you’re feeling sorry for yourself. Give yourself credit for who you are NOW.

You can make a very powerful choice. You can choose to be happy amidst whatever circumstances you find yourself in or you can choose to make different choices.

Sit still – right where you are… for a few minutes and just – BE.

Think of all of the good things in your life. Times when you made wonderful choices. You have every reason in the world to be happy!

There have been times in my life when my supervisor or manager at work wondered why I didn’t make decisions. Typically it was because I was waiting on something or someone to do something first. When I read this article it perfectly explained that situation. I didn’t make certain work decisions because I was waiting for someone’s approval. All that waiting was so draining. And it also seemed that sometimes I’d make a decision only to be criticized (sometimes severely). It put me in the vicious cycle of never being able to win. We’ve all heard people say, “no matter what I do – I can’t win” or “you can’t please everyone”. And that was me – until now.

I make work decisions based upon a risk taking matrix. In the most basic terms it goes something like this:

  • Is this decision in my best interest? (You sacrifice yourself and your happiness if whatever decision your making is for someone, anyone else.)
  • Is this choice best for the company? (This includes considering all ethics, laws, etc.)
  • In 20, 50, or 100 years will this matter?
  • What is the worst that could happen?

I recognize and accept responsibility. Making a wrong decision almost always can be reversed – if the need is great enough. And I do not work in a field where lives depend upon my decisions. Point is, if the decision is mine to make – I must make it with the best information I understand at the time not necessarily by considering “the need to please others”. There is a time and place for building consensus among team members but this is not the focus of this post.

It’s no wonder people-pleasers have a hard time trusting their own intuition. They’ve been waiting on someone else to do something – anything to relieve them of the need to “make a decision”. I have actually known people who cannot decide upon what restaurant to eat at, or even what item to order once they get there!

A former manager I worked with a few years ago told me one of the traits he looks for in those he promotes is the ability to make a decision! His statement still rings in my ears.

How many people are scared to make a decision?

We must learn to become risk takers and accept responsibility for our choices if we ever hope to become enlightened and be our best most joyous self.

I have blocked my own energy and creative power in the past by feeling a deep need to always explain myself. I am now learning to be much more aware and when I feel the need to explain I think for a moment and reason it out.

I begin to think different thoughts.

Happy thoughts.

It sounds easy enough as I write this, but I tell you – in the moment it’s not so easy.

I almost have to force myself to smile first, before I can guide my thoughts to something happy. People that aren’t “explainers” probably would have no idea what I’m talking about.

The other day a person said something to me in front of others that I didn’t like. I felt the need to explain my side but I didn’t. I felt all of the emotions (due to my thoughts) about the experience well up inside me, my face grew hot, and though I didn’t look in a mirror I knew my chest and neck were probably red, but by gradually and systematically changing my thoughts (changing my focus) within less than five minutes I felt back in control. Empowered. No need to explain. No need to get angry. No need to do anything.

Think about what is most important in your life. Who is most important in your life. Put yourself and how you feel – with the goal to be happy – first. Notice the better you feel – the better you feel. Why? To feel better! In turn, you and those you love will feel better too. People around you pick up on your energy. We Are All Connected whether you realize it or not.

If someone is consistently draining you of your energy you only have two choices. Let whatever they say roll off of you as easily as water rolls off a ducks back. Or let the person (or job) go – out of your life.

When someone dissatisfies me in any way, I tell myself, “thank you for helping me make a better decision“. If it happens to be because of some poor service in a restaurant I choose not to go back. If it’s a business situation, I end the association. I’ve quit going to particular service providers. Changed doctors. You name it.

There’s plenty of options out there and I’m not going to stick around someone or remain in a situation that’s not in my best interest. Why would I? I don’t want to come home and complain to my spouse about things I certainly am adult enough to change.

I am quite sure that my words may not teach you how to make decisions, take risks, or accept responsibility for your choices. You may choose to completely disagree with me and that’s okay. I won’t try to change you. 🙂