Natural health: Relief from anxiety using EFT / Tapping

Originally published on EXAMINER Sept. 7, 2013

Have you ever had the experience of someone making you mad / angry, and in that moment you either didn’t know what to say, or you would cuss, hurl insults, flip a certain finger, yell, scream, throw a fit, or act in some other seemingly uncontrollable manner?

Maybe in the moment of confrontation you go into a rage, attack, cry, pout, or run away? Or you just can’t wait to get home, so you can tell your spouse, tell the offending person off on Facebook, slide into emotional eating, or make gooey fattening comfort food and chow down into oblivion.

I have great news!! A healthy, non-calorie, alternative you can use on yourself to calm your central nervous system! And it’s FREE, once you learn it, and you can do it at nearly any time.

I’ve found relief from the anxiety experienced during those highly charged confrontations. Plus, I’ve learned WHY I never seem to know what to say in that hostile moment.

It’s how we’re wired, and it has everything to do with the fight or flight response! The amygdala in our brains is actually so busy trying to figure out if we should scream or flee from the offending person that the analytical part of our brain can’t get a word in, or out! Seems funny to say that now but it really is what happens and that too, is frustrating – causing us even more irritation in the moment!

The confrontation ends and a few minutes later, or an hour, or a day, we think to ourselves, “why didn’t I say…”.

When I get upset I’d rather not feel nervous or tense, I’d rather like to laugh, walk away, or be able to just shrug it all off. Instead, even if it’s only my self talk, I get irritated and think “get a life”, or such. But, I don’t like that. I’d like to always be conscious of my thoughts and in control of the words that come out of my mouth. Wouldn’t you?

I’d like to say anything other than hurl an insult (which I admit is rare but has happened). I hear people say, “it is what it is”, “life goes on”, “God bless you”, or simply laugh and shrug it off, never to give it any more thought. Me? Noooo… I tend to bring it all home and stew about it. Which leads to negativity. And if carried around long enough it could affect my health.

Thankfully though, I am evolving.

In fact now, I stay in alignment more with my true nature more every day. I choose to let it all go, right then, right in the moment. Ahhh. Before, how I felt depended on whatever had influenced my day. Now, I really have a choice!

I learned about EFT years ago when I learned about acupuncture and the meridian system of the body. I even went to an EFT coach for one-on-one help with a couple of issues. Later, I took some friends to the EFT coach. This past year or so I’ve been practicing EFT /Tapping much more regularly for a host of things, and I love it! And I am talking and writing about it.

On Sept. 5, 2013 I gave my first FREE public EFT / Tapping presentation!

I really enjoyed sharing this information with new friends at our RV park.

Seven people came out for the event, and I’ve already received heartwarming feedback. It’s helped people feel better, and that’s the whole point. Relief! Results!

The attendees were: a senior couple, three single ladies, a single guy, and my husband (8 including me)! Woot! The single gentleman was concerned for his doggie at home – who experiences storm anxiety so we even tapped about that! Great group! So open to learning, sharing, and tapping together! We tapped on anxiety, on the economy/government/politics, and all the stormy weather we’ve been having this lately in St. Petersburg, FL.

If you don’t have a clue about EFT / Tapping, I have several websites I can point you to and videos. I’ll include several links below.

Here are the basics:

Talk about your problem, negative feelings, anything unwanted, sad emotion, depressing thing that’s going on IN THE MOMENT while tapping on the side of one hand with two or three fingers from the other hand. Rate on a scale of 1-10 how much you’re feeling the negative or unwanted emotion before you start and after you end. This will help you to know the Tapping provided relief.

Say this “problem” 3 times, beginning with “Even though” and ending with “I deeply and completely love and accept myself or something about myself that I believe is true about ME, like: my body, my soul, my feelings, my emotions, my name, etc.)”. You will want the statement to be true, so you can use your own words, the ones that resonate your truth. Here are some examples of this:

The scenario: A clerk is short, brisk, rude or some such thing and it upsets me. I walk out in a huff vowing to myself never to go back to that store again! I feel the irritation and maybe even anger in my body. I do not want to carry that negative emotion to the next interaction I have with anyone, much less all day, much less all week, etc. So as I leave the store and enter my car I say out loud to myself while tapping the side of my hand:

  • Even though I’m so annoyed with that !@#$ clerk at the store, and my anger is warranted, I could have just (insert what you usually say here, punched, kicked, yelled, cussed) at or to her, I deeply and completely accept my feelings
  • Even though that clerk was really rude to me, she totally ticked me off, I deeply and completely honor my soul
  • Even though she was a stupid, ignorant, jerk, idiot, moron, you name it… and should have thought before she spoke, I deeply and completely love and respect myself

Now, I move through the rest of the tapping points, choosing one word from anything I just said about the problem to reinforce to my brain that I really did feel / experience this issue:

For each point tap 5 to 7 times, not necessary to count them just tap and talk and go with the flow. Also these words are just an example, say whatever your feeling. I realize you may not know what word to associate with the feeling but with practice that will come easier and easier.

  • Inside beginning of the eyebrow (Say out loud): I’m so irritated
  • Side of the eye: I say – I’m very frustrated
  • Below the eye: Ugh, I’m Upset
  • Below the nose and above the upper lip: Angry
  • Below the bottom lip, in the crease of the chin: I feel bullied
  • Collarbone point(s): Annoyed
  • Under the arm*: I’m really Mad
  • Top of the head: Flustered
  • Take a nice big deep breath

The under arm point for women is at the bra line, for men it’s about a hand width from the arm pit.

Repeat this process two or three more times, using different words. Hopefully you’ll notice that you’re choosing easier, lighter words because by the second or third round you’re feeling better! I’ve found the second round goes something like this:

  • Even though I got upset during that confrontation at the store, and believe I’m justified to feel the way I do, I deeply and completely choose to somehow get over it
  • Even though that clerk was a jerk, she probably didn’t set out to ruin, or spoil my day, I deeply and completely love and accept my intentions
  • Even though people should be nicer, I would like to practice what I preach, somehow forgive, and deeply and completely tune into some good feelings now

And then…

  • Inside beginning of the eyebrow: (tap 5-7 times on each of these points) Say out loud: I’m still aggravated
  • Side of the eye: I say – But somehow I want to let it go
  • Below the eye: That silly clerk, what was she thinking?
  • Below the nose and above the upper lip: Spoil my day
  • Below the bottom lip, in the crease of the chin: I’m justified in how I feel
  • Collarbone point(s): but I don’t want this to ruin my day
  • Under the arm*: I didn’t do anything wrong
  • Top of the head: I played no part in that
  • Take a nice big deep breath

Last round:

  • Even though all my feelings about this situation seem warranted, I deeply and completely comfort myself
  • Even though people may not always act their best, I deeply and completely honor all of my choices
  • Even though people make mistakes, I want to forgive and live in a state of gratitude no matter what is going on around me, I deeply and completely love and accept myself

Then…

  • Inside beginning of the eyebrow: (tap 5-7 times on each of these points) Say out loud: I’m feeling a little less upset
  • Side of the eye: I say – I’m still a bit annoyed
  • Below the eye: Because I don’t understand some people
  • Below the nose and above the upper lip: But I don’t want to carry this around like baggage all day
  • Below the bottom lip, in the crease of the chin: So, somehow I choose to let it go
  • Collarbone point(s): She’s already forgotten about it I bet
  • Under the arm*: I have no reason to continue to think about it either
  • Top of the head: So I guess letting it go really does feel better
  • Take a nice big deep breath

The photo / drawing that follows is a realistic example of the three (3) main EYE tapping points for our EFT work. Top end of eyebrow point, beside and under the eye. Below the nose / above the lip and below the bottom lip in the crease of the chin. Points are marked in pink.

master

The next drawing displays the tapping points marked in blue. This includes: top end of the eyebrow, beside and below the eye. Between nose and upper lip. Below the bottom lip on crease of chin. Also, where we tap on the top of the head.

master

For deeper understanding about other ways EFT can help you, read my previous article here.

Here are the links to more on EFT / Tapping – pick the one that best suits your needs!

The Tapping Solution – Nick Ortner

How EFT works in the brain – Nick Ortner

EFT – Gary Craig

Anxiety tapping – Margaret Lynch

EFT for digestion – Julie Schiffman of Dr. Mercola Center

Special thanks to those who assisted me during my first EFT presentation:

Thanks to my wonderful soul-sister “test” tapping model – Lola!!!

Responses about EFT results I’ve received:

You were terrific! Thanks for the wonderful presentation on EFT!! It works!!
Class attendee

Oh, you’ll enjoy this! M. has her 3 year grand daughter tapping! Is that too cool?!?!
You are amazing Sheila! Hope you have a wonderful day!
Hugs,
B.

I wanted to thank you SO MUCH for the knowledge you shared on your site. I clicked on the EFT tapping menu tab and have been doing the tapping for the last three days after watching the video, reading about it and printing out the instructions. I have been tapping about body pain and also for anxiety and so far, it is helping a great deal thus, I am MOST GRATEFUL to YOU for passing along this knowledge. I have forwarded the information to two others…
Friend

UPDATE: I will be offering a class on Freedom from anxiety using EFT on:

Saturday February 4th, 2017

Noon – 1pm

Awakening Wellness Center

6161 Dr Martin Luther King Jr Street N – Suite 102, St Petersburg, FL

Suggested: $10

Take it upon yourself to be healthy, joyful, vibrant, and beautiful. Be who you want to be.

–If you would like to support my blog and continue on your self help path with a trusted personal development leader, please visit my sponsor:

Get Ready! Your breakthrough awaits at TonyRobbins.com.

Information provided is for educational purposes only and is not intended to treat, diagnose or prescribe.

Walking more than a mile in another’s moccasins

My grandmother (of Native American descent) often said,

Never judge someone until you’ve walked a mile in their moccasins.

And apparently, as a child, I soaked that right up! So much so, that I became an empath. Or perhaps, I was born an empath and her words resonated with me and validated my nature. Either way, empathy can be quite the double-edged sword. I’ve realized my life’s path has had me walk more than a mile in my mom’s moccasins–and also in my dad’s shoes. And I’m tired. Yet, profoundly grateful that I’ve learned so much.

No matter how many times I’ve pondered the heartache, the gut-wrenching, soul-shaking, events of my childhood–that I’ve recreated (knowingly or not) in my adult life, with some incredibly ridiculous desire to FIX–I can’t fix anyone else. And I’m glad I figured that out before I met my third husband! No one can fix anyone else.

Just like that old joke, 

How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb? None. The bulb has to want to be changed.

Unfortunately, even my children picked up the yoke of this dastardly twisted need to fix others, as they’ve fallen into some of the same relationship woes as I have in the past. And fortunately, all of us are in healthy relationships presently! Thank God we’ve all awakened from the lure of this whole “fixing” trap!

So, why am I writing this piercing note in the middle of the night?

Because I promised my daughter, if I accomplish one thing on this planet while I’m alive this time around, it is to break the “lather, rinse, and repeat” cycle of fixing–for my granddaughter. And all of my writing (both online and in books) is to ultimately leave earth-bound knowledge for my grandchildren. Of course, if any of these words help others, that’s a bonus. I never fully knew Divine LOVE, until I held my granddaughter in my arms for the first time. She (Jennie), means more to me than I can ever fully put into words.

What can I deduce from this new found comprehension of having walked all of these miles, in my mother’s, and yes, some in my father’s moccasins?

That life’s not been easy. But, it was never my job to work out their issues.

My “love of my life” husband and I picked up a saying this past year that goes,

Not my circus, not my monkeys.

And whenever I start to complain about something that doesn’t really belong to me–someone else’s drama–my hubby will pop that quote out to me. I love him so much for bringing things like that to my attention! He knows the empath in me often gets sucked into other’s drama, because I always feel that I can help ease their pain–somehow.

The Universe presented us with that very same phrase the other day, while we were enjoying our big outdoor Awakening Into The Sun festival! My friend Mary Ann, owner of Awakened Fibers had a handmade wall hanging with the words, “Not my circus, not my monkeys” embroidered on it! How fun!

And as if that wasn’t enough, a few minutes later while visiting with Dr. Alison J. Kay, her assistant, Brenda, told us a new phrase that fully resonated with me. It was, 

You’ve heard it said to get your ducks in a row? But, they were never your ducks.

My goodness! What if the stuff I took on (for years), all of those “other people’s problems”, were never my ducks? I never needed to get any “ducks” in a row to straighten out my parents issues. Who did I think I was to feel burdened to do that? Ugh! And now you see why I am tired. Tired of carrying the emotional baggage of others–it was never my bag to carry!

On the upside, I’ve had a successful (nearly thirty year) career out of the need to walk in my dad’s technical “know-how” shoes. And after wanting a pair of real honest-to-God moccasins for years, I finally got some, and I’ve been wearing them all winter. I feel every pebble under my feet as I walk. And I love it! I get the benefit of grounding daily, and knowing that wearing these shoes, physically brings my grandmother’s saying directly into my body, instead of it just hanging around in my mind like some mystical cloud.

So, yes, there are always positives. I know this. Why does it have to take some of us so long to figure it out?

Oh, because we’re programmed as children. Culturally, socially, and if you were raised in a religious faith, you (and I) were programmed. I’m glad I figured that out!

Now, energetically at least, I’ve cut the cord of all of this for my granddaughter–and any additional grandchildren whenever they enter our lives. 

Here and now I state, my grandchildren will not have to take any historical family burdens upon themselves. They can be self-filled. Self-motivated. They can help others as they choose. Free spirits! They can care for themselves first, without guilt. They can choose to do what they love! They do not have to repeat the sins of their parents, or of mine. They do not need to try and figure anything out. The past is the past and it is abSOULutely done.

I have broken this chain of fools.