Using Emotional Freedom Technique to feel better

Originally published 2008 on my former website.

I believe any changes you are seeking to make in your life begin in your mind. That old saying, “I’ve made up my mind” has been around for a long time for a reason. Also, ever notice how many times a day you say, “I think…” in a conversation?

We are thinking every moment of our lives. Everything we feel and do starts first with our thoughts. So, I challenge you, to try to be aware of the thoughts you are thinking and see how many are limiting ones, or thoughts, that if you just “let go of” might make you feel better.

It works like this: a thought comes, then the feeling associated, then an action. Contemplate this.

This post is focused on something called Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT).

In April of 2008, I met with Janice Cunningham at HealthQuest in Titusville, Florida to see if we could stop me from a lifelong habit/addiction of picking (and/or chewing) my fingers. I previously had been a “nail biter” but an ex-husband broke me of the habit by smacking my hand anytime he caught me with it near my mouth. Yes, negative reinforcement works – to a point – but it wasn’t such a pleasant way! Meeting with Janice was the BEST $125 I EVER spent (up until that point) because aside from my body being cured of the addiction, my body also experienced other profound affects from just one EFT session!

I highly recommend Janice to everyone who is ready to work through their own “issues”.

You may be wondering what I mean when I say that I had been “picking my fingers”. So, it seemed that I only traded my bad habit of nail biting for something less noticeable. I was pulling at my cuticles, hang nails or any other rough areas of skin around my finger nails.

In 2007, I bought a book called, “Tapping the Healer Within” because my acupuncture doctor, Joan Massey (also from HealthQuest) had told me about it, and because I had tried everything else. I found that book to be a bit convoluted and besides, it mostly dealt with phobias and anxieties – neither of which I thought I had. More importantly, while reading the book, I found it too difficult to hold the book and try to tap on my body with my other hand. Or, maybe that was just my excuse – but the book, though interesting to me, wasn’t enough to help.

A few weeks prior to my personal EFT visit, my husband and I watched a show on the TLC television channel called, “I Can Make You Thin.” On the show, the host using EFT to help people overcome their food cravings. Because I had also tried everything to lose weight, I decided that I really needed some one-on-one personal guidance with both my weight issues and the finger picking habit. And much to my delight, after a 2.5 hour session with Janice, where I fully described both of my issues, I found resolution to some deep seated disturbing mental “programming.”

I had the best night’s sleep ever after that session! I guess I had not even realized that my sleep pattern had also been an issue.

So, aside from experiencing relief from finger picking that day, the habit does not reoccur unless I am stressed. I began a routine of exercising, eating less and so forth, so, the session also helped me let go of excess weight. I believe letting go of those issues aided my body in losing the weight.

During my EFT session with Janice, we spent nearly two hours going back into my past, into my former marriage, teenage years and finally, childhood years. I realized that I had picked up my habit of finger nail biting at the same time I had been diagnosed with the asthma – when I was six years of age. My mom has always been a terrible nail biter, biting her nails down into the quick (pink part), so I knew I’d picked up the habit from my mom, but I had not realized just how much of a connection there was between that habit, my asthma, and my mom.

I fully became aware, during my EFT session, that when my mom’s father died, my maternal grandfather, that this deeply affected her — and ME.

The important thing about that experience is to know now, that when I was a child, how much that event upset my mom and how fully connected I was to my mom and her EMOTIONS. It was natural for my mom to be upset about losing her father. But, I had taken her upset on as MINE. I vividly recall believing if she could lose him, I could lose her. And that I couldn’t live – couldn’t breathe in fact – without my mom.

I remembered (during my EFT session), that as a child, when I would say my nightly prayers, that I would plead with God not to take my mom away from me. This may not make sense to many people, but I am an only child, the only child who lived of the six pregnancies my mom had. My mom (and dad) have always told me how much they love me (not a bad thing in and of itself) and how precious I am, a miracle, gift, etc. But, because of this, I became a super responsible adult. I had held on to some deeply rooted beliefs about having to “live up to any and all expectations” and so forth.

My EFT session sort of felt like it had been a combination of counseling and hypnosis (though I was awake and totally aware of what was happening). It seemed as though Janice had been talking to me on a deep soul level.

During the session, Janice recommended I take some notes, both of things that I was becoming aware of, as well as how to be able to run through this process again on my own if need be.

I noted that I had always tried to “save my mom”.
I am not my thoughts.
My perception influenced my thoughts, but my perceptions were not always “true.”
The genie is out of the bottle.
I do not need the old thoughts.
Am I the thought or the awareness?
Am I “this” thought, or am I the awareness of “this” thought?
Who sent “this” thought? (My pain-body)
Examine “this” thought. It will probably be a limiting thought, a no-win thought, and one that would eventually bring pain.
To let go of “this” thought: 1) focus on the feeling of my breath in and out, 2) be the observing presence.
When I observe I suspend space.
Inspiration = In spirit, and inspiration fills me, lights me up from the inside – the same as when someone is in creative mode; you feel the creative energy inside, in your heart or chest, not in the head area.
The Aha moment when the head agrees to the inner knowing.
My nails = my own fear and anxiety to my feeling, as though I could never fix/help/save my mom.
A trigger for me is when I am faced with something I can’t do anything about, when I feel a sense of powerlessness.
But I’m a super responsible person – I’m supposed to DO something vs. just BE.
(This is the conflict that causes the habitual negative behavior).

Once we got to the root cause of my habit, it effortlessly left me.

EFT helped me to realize that even if I could pluck my mom out of her seemingly dysfunctional situation, that the change would not bring her happiness and that after all, it’s her life. It is what it is. I cannot “fix” the world. I am not here to “save” anyone else.

That “saving” realization freed me. Now, I still have other issues to work through, but wow, I really have that peace that passes all understanding after one EFT session! I have just been able to deal with things and just BE.

 

I can’t say enough about EFT. If you think you’ve tried everything to find relief from anxiety, depression, weight issues, nerve problems, etc. I implore you to try EFT. You do not need to “believe in it” for it to work for you. And what do you have to lose?

Here is a link to explain what EFT is all about: http://www.emofree.com/

You probably already know that most physical ailments begin in the mind. I’ve met many doctors over the years who have told me this too, but it is best explained: “It is an established fact that psychosomatic disorders (PSD) are in fact responsible for a great share of OTC medications, mainly for anxiety and depression. Psychotherapy deals in harmonizing the agonized mind, while Aromatherapy acts as a support system for the mind as well as the dis-eased physical body/ physiology.” per a quote from Dr. Ravi Ratan.

UPDATE: Join me for a lesson in how to perform Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) at the Awakening Wellness Center, Feb. 4th, 2017 from Noon – 1pm.

Located at:

6161 Dr Martin Luther King St N, Suite 102 St Petersburg, FL

(727) 289-4747

And come out to the Awakening Into The Sun Zen festival in beautiful downtown St. Petersburg, Florida during the weekend of March 4th and 5th at South Straub Park. I’ll be on stage between musical performances sharing about EFT.

Take it upon yourself to be healthy, joyful, vibrant, and beautiful. Be who you want to be.

–If you would like to support my blog and continue on your self help path with a trusted personal development leader, please visit my sponsor:

Get Ready! Your breakthrough awaits at TonyRobbins.com.

–If you love to look at unique items to enhance and add comfort to your living space, please visit my sponsor:

Valentine Decor 20% Off, valid 1/30 – 2/25

Information provided is for educational purposes only and is not intended to treat, diagnose or prescribe.

Natural health: Relief from anxiety using EFT / Tapping

Originally published on EXAMINER Sept. 7, 2013

Have you ever had the experience of someone making you mad / angry, and in that moment you either didn’t know what to say, or you would cuss, hurl insults, flip a certain finger, yell, scream, throw a fit, or act in some other seemingly uncontrollable manner?

Maybe in the moment of confrontation you go into a rage, attack, cry, pout, or run away? Or you just can’t wait to get home, so you can tell your spouse, tell the offending person off on Facebook, slide into emotional eating, or make gooey fattening comfort food and chow down into oblivion.

I have great news!! A healthy, non-calorie, alternative you can use on yourself to calm your central nervous system! And it’s FREE, once you learn it, and you can do it at nearly any time.

I’ve found relief from the anxiety experienced during those highly charged confrontations. Plus, I’ve learned WHY I never seem to know what to say in that hostile moment.

It’s how we’re wired, and it has everything to do with the fight or flight response! The amygdala in our brains is actually so busy trying to figure out if we should scream or flee from the offending person that the analytical part of our brain can’t get a word in, or out! Seems funny to say that now but it really is what happens and that too, is frustrating – causing us even more irritation in the moment!

The confrontation ends and a few minutes later, or an hour, or a day, we think to ourselves, “why didn’t I say…”.

When I get upset I’d rather not feel nervous or tense, I’d rather like to laugh, walk away, or be able to just shrug it all off. Instead, even if it’s only my self talk, I get irritated and think “get a life”, or such. But, I don’t like that. I’d like to always be conscious of my thoughts and in control of the words that come out of my mouth. Wouldn’t you?

I’d like to say anything other than hurl an insult (which I admit is rare but has happened). I hear people say, “it is what it is”, “life goes on”, “God bless you”, or simply laugh and shrug it off, never to give it any more thought. Me? Noooo… I tend to bring it all home and stew about it. Which leads to negativity. And if carried around long enough it could affect my health.

Thankfully though, I am evolving.

In fact now, I stay in alignment more with my true nature more every day. I choose to let it all go, right then, right in the moment. Ahhh. Before, how I felt depended on whatever had influenced my day. Now, I really have a choice!

I learned about EFT years ago when I learned about acupuncture and the meridian system of the body. I even went to an EFT coach for one-on-one help with a couple of issues. Later, I took some friends to the EFT coach. This past year or so I’ve been practicing EFT /Tapping much more regularly for a host of things, and I love it! And I am talking and writing about it.

On Sept. 5, 2013 I gave my first FREE public EFT / Tapping presentation!

I really enjoyed sharing this information with new friends at our RV park.

Seven people came out for the event, and I’ve already received heartwarming feedback. It’s helped people feel better, and that’s the whole point. Relief! Results!

The attendees were: a senior couple, three single ladies, a single guy, and my husband (8 including me)! Woot! The single gentleman was concerned for his doggie at home – who experiences storm anxiety so we even tapped about that! Great group! So open to learning, sharing, and tapping together! We tapped on anxiety, on the economy/government/politics, and all the stormy weather we’ve been having this lately in St. Petersburg, FL.

If you don’t have a clue about EFT / Tapping, I have several websites I can point you to and videos. I’ll include several links below.

Here are the basics:

Talk about your problem, negative feelings, anything unwanted, sad emotion, depressing thing that’s going on IN THE MOMENT while tapping on the side of one hand with two or three fingers from the other hand. Rate on a scale of 1-10 how much you’re feeling the negative or unwanted emotion before you start and after you end. This will help you to know the Tapping provided relief.

Say this “problem” 3 times, beginning with “Even though” and ending with “I deeply and completely love and accept myself or something about myself that I believe is true about ME, like: my body, my soul, my feelings, my emotions, my name, etc.)”. You will want the statement to be true, so you can use your own words, the ones that resonate your truth. Here are some examples of this:

The scenario: A clerk is short, brisk, rude or some such thing and it upsets me. I walk out in a huff vowing to myself never to go back to that store again! I feel the irritation and maybe even anger in my body. I do not want to carry that negative emotion to the next interaction I have with anyone, much less all day, much less all week, etc. So as I leave the store and enter my car I say out loud to myself while tapping the side of my hand:

  • Even though I’m so annoyed with that !@#$ clerk at the store, and my anger is warranted, I could have just (insert what you usually say here, punched, kicked, yelled, cussed) at or to her, I deeply and completely accept my feelings
  • Even though that clerk was really rude to me, she totally ticked me off, I deeply and completely honor my soul
  • Even though she was a stupid, ignorant, jerk, idiot, moron, you name it… and should have thought before she spoke, I deeply and completely love and respect myself

Now, I move through the rest of the tapping points, choosing one word from anything I just said about the problem to reinforce to my brain that I really did feel / experience this issue:

For each point tap 5 to 7 times, not necessary to count them just tap and talk and go with the flow. Also these words are just an example, say whatever your feeling. I realize you may not know what word to associate with the feeling but with practice that will come easier and easier.

  • Inside beginning of the eyebrow (Say out loud): I’m so irritated
  • Side of the eye: I say – I’m very frustrated
  • Below the eye: Ugh, I’m Upset
  • Below the nose and above the upper lip: Angry
  • Below the bottom lip, in the crease of the chin: I feel bullied
  • Collarbone point(s): Annoyed
  • Under the arm*: I’m really Mad
  • Top of the head: Flustered
  • Take a nice big deep breath

The under arm point for women is at the bra line, for men it’s about a hand width from the arm pit.

Repeat this process two or three more times, using different words. Hopefully you’ll notice that you’re choosing easier, lighter words because by the second or third round you’re feeling better! I’ve found the second round goes something like this:

  • Even though I got upset during that confrontation at the store, and believe I’m justified to feel the way I do, I deeply and completely choose to somehow get over it
  • Even though that clerk was a jerk, she probably didn’t set out to ruin, or spoil my day, I deeply and completely love and accept my intentions
  • Even though people should be nicer, I would like to practice what I preach, somehow forgive, and deeply and completely tune into some good feelings now

And then…

  • Inside beginning of the eyebrow: (tap 5-7 times on each of these points) Say out loud: I’m still aggravated
  • Side of the eye: I say – But somehow I want to let it go
  • Below the eye: That silly clerk, what was she thinking?
  • Below the nose and above the upper lip: Spoil my day
  • Below the bottom lip, in the crease of the chin: I’m justified in how I feel
  • Collarbone point(s): but I don’t want this to ruin my day
  • Under the arm*: I didn’t do anything wrong
  • Top of the head: I played no part in that
  • Take a nice big deep breath

Last round:

  • Even though all my feelings about this situation seem warranted, I deeply and completely comfort myself
  • Even though people may not always act their best, I deeply and completely honor all of my choices
  • Even though people make mistakes, I want to forgive and live in a state of gratitude no matter what is going on around me, I deeply and completely love and accept myself

Then…

  • Inside beginning of the eyebrow: (tap 5-7 times on each of these points) Say out loud: I’m feeling a little less upset
  • Side of the eye: I say – I’m still a bit annoyed
  • Below the eye: Because I don’t understand some people
  • Below the nose and above the upper lip: But I don’t want to carry this around like baggage all day
  • Below the bottom lip, in the crease of the chin: So, somehow I choose to let it go
  • Collarbone point(s): She’s already forgotten about it I bet
  • Under the arm*: I have no reason to continue to think about it either
  • Top of the head: So I guess letting it go really does feel better
  • Take a nice big deep breath

The photo / drawing that follows is a realistic example of the three (3) main EYE tapping points for our EFT work. Top end of eyebrow point, beside and under the eye. Below the nose / above the lip and below the bottom lip in the crease of the chin. Points are marked in pink.

master

The next drawing displays the tapping points marked in blue. This includes: top end of the eyebrow, beside and below the eye. Between nose and upper lip. Below the bottom lip on crease of chin. Also, where we tap on the top of the head.

master

For deeper understanding about other ways EFT can help you, read my previous article here.

Here are the links to more on EFT / Tapping – pick the one that best suits your needs!

The Tapping Solution – Nick Ortner

How EFT works in the brain – Nick Ortner

EFT – Gary Craig

Anxiety tapping – Margaret Lynch

EFT for digestion – Julie Schiffman of Dr. Mercola Center

Special thanks to those who assisted me during my first EFT presentation:

Thanks to my wonderful soul-sister “test” tapping model – Lola!!!

Responses about EFT results I’ve received:

You were terrific! Thanks for the wonderful presentation on EFT!! It works!!
Class attendee

Oh, you’ll enjoy this! M. has her 3 year grand daughter tapping! Is that too cool?!?!
You are amazing Sheila! Hope you have a wonderful day!
Hugs,
B.

I wanted to thank you SO MUCH for the knowledge you shared on your site. I clicked on the EFT tapping menu tab and have been doing the tapping for the last three days after watching the video, reading about it and printing out the instructions. I have been tapping about body pain and also for anxiety and so far, it is helping a great deal thus, I am MOST GRATEFUL to YOU for passing along this knowledge. I have forwarded the information to two others…
Friend

UPDATE: I will be offering a class on Freedom from anxiety using EFT on:

Saturday February 4th, 2017

Noon – 1pm

Awakening Wellness Center

6161 Dr Martin Luther King Jr Street N – Suite 102, St Petersburg, FL

Suggested: $10

Take it upon yourself to be healthy, joyful, vibrant, and beautiful. Be who you want to be.

–If you would like to support my blog and continue on your self help path with a trusted personal development leader, please visit my sponsor:

Get Ready! Your breakthrough awaits at TonyRobbins.com.

Information provided is for educational purposes only and is not intended to treat, diagnose or prescribe.

Something I don’t talk about part II or digging deeper

Our move to St Petersburg, Florida allowed me the soul reaching pleasure to meet several new folks and reconnect with old friends. In my research and reading about “connectedness” and “it’s all energy / frequency” I am now beginning to really “get” this concept of “there’s no coincidences.”

A couple weeks ago, after the whole vet experience that I wrote about in my Orlando Examiner blog post with our doggie, Beau, I was led to someone who would open me to yet another level, or layer, of “energy and frequency knowledge.” If I am losing you, don’t worry – it may make sense after you re-read my previous post, Something I don’t talk about. Or you may want to skip this all together. I have been known to lose people in my logic and ramblings. This is more for me to note certain things–and as is the reason for all of my posts– to leave a legacy for my beautiful granddaughter, Jennifer. So here we go.

I was led to Sue (at the first health food store I visited) and she connected me to Linda at the natural food store for animals – who, because I mentioned I do “EFT / “Tapping”, proceeded to introduce me to the store’s owner, and animal wellness author, who’s name was also Sue. This Sue was also VERY into energy, frequency, etc. So, we did an EFT session right then, that day, on the spot! And I felt that spiritual connection, as if someone life changing had entered my experience.

Sue loaned me a book she had on her shelf. That book? Power vs. Force by David R. Hawkins, M.D. Ph.D. Wow! I brought it home and continued to read it as often as I could. To say that this book shifted my world and mind is probably an understatement. Nonlinear dynamics and chaos theory explained. Ah! It’s like breathing math when I read and comprehend this wisdom.

Passages such as, “Can man lift himself by his bootstraps? Why not? All he has to do is increase his buoyancy and he will effortlessly rise to a higher state. Force cannot accomplish that feat. Power not only can, but constantly does.” As well, “Force is experienced through the senses; power can be recognized only through inner awareness.”

I keep talking with others about frequency and how our five senses are just “receiving” frequencies. How do you know that when someone plays the C note on the piano is being heard as the same C note for all? How do you know? Well, over time many people sort of observed by hearing it and agreed that C sounds like C? We do not even have the words to explain what C sounds like, we have to HEAR it. As a group of us listen to that C note, we agree, yes, ah, that is C. Do you see what I mean? haha!

So, with that being said, when someone stubs their toe, they feel it. Or do they? Not everyone FEELS that pain the same way. We know some people have a high tolerance for pain, and others have a low tolerance of pain.

When I SEE someone get hurt, I feel it. Some people have told me that means I am an empath. It’s probably why I cry when I watch movies that are dramatic, really I cannot imagine that I totally related to everything going on that is sad in every movie or TV show. I cry, others do not. I am sensitive in that way. Apparently, not everyone is. I have watched TV shows and movies with other people and they are fine – they are disconnected from the emotions of the characters. I am not. That’s why I can’t watch certain shows or movies, they’re too overwhelming for me.

My eyes and ears interpret something in the frequencies being transmitted on a much deeper level than others. It’s why I knew I could not be a counselor. I knew I would bring my work home with me every day and it would spill over into my home life, affecting my relationships.

So, reading Power vs. Force, I was struck when I read, “the person who has arrived at a habitual state of unconditional Love will experience anything less as unacceptable. As one advances in the evolution of his individual consciousness, the process becomes self-perpetuating and self-correcting, so that self-improvement becomes a way of life.” That explains it! Why I seem to be on this inexhaustible quest for correctness in living / loving / forgiving. Maybe also that is why so many people have come into my life whom I have had to forgive? Another thread to unravel.

I’ve always tended to be a person who perceived injustices to myself and those around me. I thought it was because of my native American ancestry – whereby my grandmother and her people had been persecuted. As well as, experiencing religious persecution. Hmm, but now I read that “…moralistic judgments are merely a function of the viewpoint from which they proceed.” A person who is resonating at a higher level of consciousness views morality very differently than the person who is vibrating in the lower frequencies and that makes a lot of sense to me!

I just told my adult daughter the other day, a snake is not a dog. They are different creatures. If you want a snake as a pet do not expect the snake to behave the same way as if you brought a dog home. They are completely different and they behave differently. You would not apply the same expectations to the snake as you would apply to the dog. Right? So if you marry the man whom you think is soft, warm, and cuddly then over time he shows his true colors, sheds his skin and becomes the snake, ah, now you know – you didn’t really marry the dog, you married the snake! Your expectations could never have been correct, as the dog is not the same as the snake. The man shows his true colors over time (people can only pretend for so long) and if you continue to treat him as the cute, warm, and cuddly dog, do not expect him to change from snake to dog – it doesn’t happen. Your expectations are what must change – or better yet, have no expectations at all.

I think as I continue reading I will have much more to share.

Is anyone reading this? LOL

I’m interested to know how many others are the least bit interested. Are you also searching?

Do you believe as I do that there are no coincidences? Do you believe that we are all connected?

If you do not want to comment, I certainly understand. You can email me directly: takeituponyourself@gmail.com

UPDATE: July 6th, 2014 –> Check out my newest post, We Are All Connected.